Whether you grew up with uncles or are one yourself, the term “uncle” has taken on a life of its own in recent years. Thanks to African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and Gen Z slang, “uncle”— or “unc/unk” for short— has been used to describe the older and mature Black man. Although some may consider the term endearing and full of respect, others say its downright offensive.
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Merriam-Webster defines “uncle” as “the brother of one’s father or mother” and “one who helps, advises, or encourages.” Informally, it’s also used to refer to older adults who may not be blood related but are trusted allies, role models, and/or leaders in the community. That tradition goes all the way back to slavery, when families were ripped apart so slaves created their own extended families, or “fictive kinships,” which was crucial for survival. Acknowledging someone as an “uncle” or “auntie” acknowledged their role as a vital necessity for the family structure, especially during a time when it didn’t exist.
But the term started to take a negative connotation after Harriet Beecher Stowe’s 1852 novel, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” The title character, who was religious and loyal, refused to betray two women who escaped slavery, and he was ultimately beaten to death for his Christian values. After the novel’s release, Uncle Tom’s character was twisted as a docile yes-man who seemingly felt honored to please the white man at the expense of his own community. The term became a stereotypical caricature that was used as a racial slur (i.e. Angela Bassett’s character Bernadine Harris from “Waiting to Exhale” calling her husband, John [Michael Beach] an Uncle Tom because he was leaving her for a white woman, remember?)
As the centuries went on, the term adjusted in modern day. Rapper Wiz Khalifa said in a interview, “There’s nothing wrong with being Unc, because Unc is a sign of respect. But, the derogatory term of it, is ‘out of style, out of date, we don’t want to hear that, not advice they really want to live up to,’” referring to younger generations. Some Black men say being called “Unc” is ageist.
The Uncle Tom character was indeed elderly and non-threatening, and Black men today who are over 40 years young being called “Unc” perceive that as a dig at their age. Heck, even artist James Montgomery Flagg widely-recognized World War I recruitment poster, designed in 1917, showcased “Uncle Sam,” an older white man complete with gray hair and gray facial hair, subtly indicating “Uncle” refers to someone older.
TheeMpTyPodcast discussed the age group one has to be to even be considered “Unc.”
“If you meet someone double your age, they are your Unc,” one co-host argued, meaning a 20-year-old is automatically considered a 10-year-old’s uncle, even if the former isn’t old enough to legally drink alcohol. That same co-host even argued one can be considered an “uncle” strictly by his “status and how you carry yourself and who you’re around,” not by age. He mentioned how he works with a lot of young people, and doesn’t mind being called “uncle” because they “know me to be your senior and you’re gonna listen to what I’ve got to say to you and take it into consideration because I’ve lived life… I’ve got a payslip the same as your date of birth!”
A second co-host said the term has nothing to do with age at all, but “a look.”
“If you look like an uncle, I’m calling you an uncle,” he added, arguing how he determines who’s an “uncle” just by “looking at you and judging you by what I see.”
One Black man went off on TikTok after being called “uncle” because he’s only 24 years old but looked “like an old head,” per one comment. He added: “I’m about to cry!”
But it’s important to note how important the relationship between the person using the term and who they are referencing really is. Depending on the circumstances and context, “uncle” can be endearing and a sign of respect, but if used by a non-Black person, some say its downright racist.
The Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia at Ferris State University in Michigan, which displays “everyday artifacts depicting the history of racist portrayals of African Americans in American popular culture,” says white people often avoided formal titles like “Mr.,” “Miss,” or “Mrs.” for centuries when addressing Black adults. They instead opted for more familial terms like “aunt” or “uncle,” but not out of sheer affection, but a way to diminish their status as an ode to their subservience during the Jim Crow era. Not only was it demeaning, but it denied Black adults respect and dignity, reinforcing how Black folks— no matter their age— are still their subordinates (Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben ring a bell?).
Similar to those backhanded compliments some Black women receive, “You’re pretty to be dark skinned,” referring to a man’s age but still adding how “he still looks good, sounds good, etc.” could be equally damaging. The media, including outlets Ranker and Esquire, have listed the hottest actors over age 40, as if one’s attractiveness dissipates the moment their 40th birthdays hit.
But not everyone takes offense to the term. Rapper Snoop Dogg, widely referred to as “Uncle Snoop,” says he embraces the term during an interview with former NFL player turned podcast host Shannon Sharpe.
“In our community that’s a term of endearment,” Sharpe said, referring to how younger rappers call Snoop Dogg “Unc.” He added how, “It don’t get no higher than that!”
Snoop agreed, saying the term “comes with a level of respect,” but, there’s limits. “The funny thing is, I’m about to be 49, when a rapper that’s 53 [years old] come up to you and say, ‘Whats up, Unc?’ Time out! Time out, I’m your nephew, you got me by four years, slow down.”
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