Donald Trump Is America's Greatest President

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump embraces the United States flag during a campaign rally at the Tampa Convention Center on June 11, 2016 in Tampa, Florida
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump embraces the United States flag during a campaign rally at the Tampa Convention Center on June 11, 2016 in Tampa, Florida
Photo: Geraldo Mora (Getty Images )

Before voicing their exasperation over the Trump/Putin/Pence administration, all the white liberals, the people at the helm of the resistance movement, will adjust their pink pussy hats and straighten their safety pin-adorned “RESIST” shirts and explain why and how Donald Trump is not fit to represent their beloved country.

In their attempt to convince the world of his lack of qualifications, they conveniently forget that this misogynist, this lie-spewing, racism-filled narcissist, is the perfect person to represent America.

Never before has one person so perfectly embodied the qualities of this nation.

If one was to create a sentient being out of America’s past and present, it would look like Donald Trump. It would hate anyone who is not white. It would believe itself to be an infallible “stable genius.” It would hide secrets. It would whitewash its past. It would lie incessantly. It would rip brown babies from their mothers’ arms. It would criminalize Muslims. It would mirror the intellect and sentiment of the vast majority of people who fill the country from sea to shining sea.

Donald Trump is America.

Donald Trump is a rich, powerful man who has convinced the world that his empire was earned through hard work, not a sordid past that includes, but is not limited to, taking advantage of his privilege. He made his fortune like America made its fortune: taking land, profiting off financial malfeasance, conning the masses and refusing to pay black and brown people for their work.


He has become the world’s most powerful man in the world’s most powerful country through a system that rewards white men for being white men. He has no particular intelligence or expertise, yet he has convinced his poor Caucasian co-conspirators that the only way they can succeed is by placing their foot on the neck of the people who don’t look like them. The brown people. The black people. The non-Christians.

Isn’t that the most American idea of them all?

And like America, most people are willing to ignore his racism for the sake of self-preservation. Most Trump voters will not admit that they cast their ballots for an unapologetic bigot just like many Americans will not admit that the Civil War had anything to do with slavery.


Republicans will overlook the inherent evil of his immigration policy just like this country overlooked Jim Crow, segregation, lynching and the evil that remains in every sector of society. They have forgotten how Trump excused a white supremacist murder in Charlottesville, Va., just like America excuses white supremacy as an institutional reality.

And he lies ... like America lies.

Despite what the numbers say, his inauguration was the biggest inauguration in the history of inaugurations. He passed more legislation than any president ever. He won the electoral college by a record amount. Truth be damned, facts no longer matter.


And according to Trump, America is the greatest country on earth, despite what the numbers say. We are a beacon of freedom and liberty even though we rank first in the world’s prison population. We are the smartest nation in the world, despite ranking 14th in education and second in ignorance. We believe in equality and tolerance, despite ranking No. 1 on the list of the most racist countries in the world.

See? I told you we were No. 1.

Trump promised he would fix our health care system, like America has been telling us for decades, but he made it worse. He preaches prosperity for the middle class but his policies benefit the wealthy. He promises peace but starts petty conflicts around the world.


Like America, he elevates white mediocrity. He put an unqualified dolt (Betsy DeVos) who has never attended, studied or worked in public schools, in charge of America’s public schools. He placed Jeff Sessions, known for supporting injustice, in charge of the Department of Justice. Rick Perry, Trump’s Secretary of Energy, became famous after stating his desire to eliminate the Department of Energy.

America’s love affair with celebrity and disregard for substance made Kim Kardashian a freedom fighter, Kanye the most-quoted expert on slavery and Donald Trump the leader of the free world.


And just like this country has done since its inception, America is all too willing to remain blind to his transgressions, even with definitive proof. This country is willing to watch Trump and his minion of secondhand liars—Sarah Sanders, Kellyanne Conway, Kirstjen Neilsen—tell boldface lies to the American public without penalty.

We watch definitive proof of his cronies’ coldhearted bullshit captured on video the same way we watch the cold-blooded police murders of black boys and girls. Yet we are told that we must respect them. We are supposed to remain civil towards them after they have demonstrated they don’t give a fuck about us.


And that is America.

Like this country, Donald Trump is a mirage. His greatness is a figment of a collective white imagination that envisions a bright, shining star where there is only a dumpster fire.


He is a first-rate con artist. He is a counterfeit, autocratic dullard impersonating a commander in chief. He is every white foot that has ever been placed on a black neck. He is hate personified and incompetence exemplified. He is the imbecilic farce of a white man convinced of his own supremacy.

Yet, he remains.

Like “racial resentment.” Like the electoral college. Like the two-party system. Like the 53 percent. Like white supremacy and black oppression. Like hate. Like injustice. Like apathy. Like rage. Like us.


Like the masses’ unrelenting adoration for this beloved, blessed, once-great thing called America.

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.



I mean, that’s an interesting quote but I sort of think you have to look at the leading phrase “As democracy is perfected” to modulate this take a bit.

Trump certainly didn’t win because democracy is more “perfected” now than it was when America first started. He lost the popular vote by a meaningful margin, after all.

A more perfected democracy can’t save us from deeply embedded flaws we are still struggling to come to grips with, let alone deal with, but it certainly would have produced a better outcome than Donald Trump.