While watching and admiring Lil Nas X’s mastery of Twitter over the past week, I’m reminded a bit of John Wick. Specifically, Wick in the nightclub in John Wick, which is the first time we truly see him do some quintessentially Wick shit.
While I’m sure it would suck to be one of those nameless and-soon-to-be-faceless henchmen, there are worse ways to die, I suppose than with Kaleida’s “Think” as the soundtrack of your murder. Which is how I feel about Joyner Lucas now. In a since-deleted tweet, the rap equivalent of Crash lamented that children who grew to love Lil Nas X after “Old Town Road” would now also slide down stripper poles to Hell after watching the “Montero” video. OK, he didn’t say that, but the sentiment was close. And then Lil Nas X came through with the fatality, reminding the sentient Antiracist Book List that “Old Town Road” has references to lean and adultery.
Anyway, the least surprising part of this discourse has been the reactions from (some) Christians, who’ve had their crucifixes (crucifi?) in a bunch for an entire week. Lil Nas X, apparently, is as threatening to the church as dinosaur fossils are. And this all just reminds me that (some) Christians have very literal interpretations about how God created us in His own image. Basically, people with ashy souls presume that they were created by an equally ashy God. How else can you explain their apparent belief that this omnipotent and omniscient being can somehow be threatened by a little bedazzled nigga named Montero?
I should probably share that I’m also a Christian. I belong to a church, I pray before most meals, and I even know the words to every song in Jesus Christ Superstar. (Seriously.) I am an imperfect Christian, as all Christians are, which is why it gives me peace to think of God as John Wick—a stylish supreme being with some trauma who can easily vanquish any threat. What’s the point of even believing in God if you believe He’s weak enough to be a homophobic loser? I mean, wouldn’t you rather believe in a Serena-like God instead of a market-tested Sharapova-like God who stays catching Ls?
That wasn’t a rhetorical question, by the way. My curiosity is genuine! Goodbye!