A Colorado car dealership curiously pulled all of its television ads featuring Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller after he took a knee to protest
the flag, the national anthem, the military, white people, Donald Trump, injustice and inequality on Sunday.
The Denver Post reports that a local television station’s claims that Miller was fired as a celebrity spokesman for the Phil Long Dealerships were incorrect. Instead, the dealerships released a statement indicating that Miller and the company had been in contract negotiations to renew his endorsement deal since March, but (and here is the key) they decided to “evaluate” their options after Miller took a knee this weekend.
The statement read in part:
We are evaluating the events of the weekend. It is important to state that we haven’t fired Von. We are in the middle of contract renewal and this weekend’s events remind us that sometimes we feel that we best represent ourselves. We support Von and his first amendment rights, we know Von and he’s a good person. He donated a police car to his hometown police dept. All that notwithstanding when we bring in celebrities to represent us we run the risk of being misrepresented.
Allow me to translate this gobbledygook out of whitespeak for you: My grandmother taught me that whenever white folks say they are “evaluating,” “negotiating” or any word with more than three syllables, it translates to “figuring out a way to erase your ass.”
Another hidden clue is the phrase “good person.” Whenever Caucasians refer to anyone as a “good person,” they think the person did something really fucked up. The only people you’ll hear referred to as “good” people are school shooters, middle school social studies teachers who slept with their students, and black people who offended white sensibilities by standing up for themselves.
The dealership ended the statement by saying something about the military and supporting veterans, and I would post a quote, but I don’t even know how we got here. How did a protest about injustice somehow morph into something about the military? Look, I know tons of soldiers. My nephew and namesake is serving in the Marine Corps right now, and my niece is in the Army.
They entered the military for the opportunity to make lives for themselves while serving their country. They call me all the time to ask me almost anything. It’s almost like I’m their own personal uncle Google. Do you want to know what I have never heard them (or anyone else) say?
“Uncle Mike, I wish those players in the NFL would stop disrespecting me while I’m out here protecting this anthem.”
But don’t cry for Von Miller. He still has a Super Bowl ring, a Super Bowl MVP and a $114 million contract. He is also the national face for John Madden Football and Old Spice. I think he’ll be able to pay his light bill.
And as for the company who says it “run[s] the risk of being misrepresented” when NFL players take a knee for equality (which, by definition, means Phil Long Dealerships must stand for inequality) ...
... I’m sure they are good people.
Read more at the Denver Post.