According to Twitter, brunch makes you gay. Yup. In 2017, the year of our Lord and Savior, having an affinity for bacon and pancakes is a telltale sign of your homosexuality.
Over the weekend, a series of tweets erupted stating that men who enjoy brunch must be gay. I was thoroughly confused. Unless there is a side of penis being served next to your chicken and waffles, then I don’t see how enjoying brunch can make you gay.
Misery loves company, and like clockwork, every Sunday, #AshyTwitter takes to these Twitter streets to argue over everyone’s happiness. This past Sunday, they chose to gangbang over bacon with some very problematic messages in which both men and women took it upon themselves to slander the enjoyment of a mere meal.
The attack on brunch is just one of the many ways in which toxic masculinity doesn’t want you to enjoy the finer things in life like pedicures, holding umbrellas, taking a bath or even wearing matching socks. Masculinity has been constructed in contrast to femininity, so whenever a man does anything that is considered feminine, he is automatically considered less of a man.
Men are groomed from an early age on how to be the manliest of men. When they grow up, they tend to be afraid of enjoying things that are deemed “feminine” for fear of being ostracized or criticized.
When it comes to toxic masculinity, everyone loses. Men who conform to the typical ideals of this mindset become more work for women than they need to be. Women now have to go through years upon years of training to reprogram men and reassure them that enjoying “nice things” doesn’t make them less of a man or, heaven forbid, gay.
“Do you know how hard it is to train and groom a man because he’s been scared of nice shit making him gay his whole life?” said Danielle Belton, managing editor of The Root.
Toxic masculinity will have you believe that the idea of manhood is rooted in insecurities and is a “prize” that people can revoke at any time for not adhering to society’s rigid gender guidelines. According to this mindset, the only emotions men are allowed to express are anger or violence, and this creates a mental battleground where they find themselves at war with enjoying things that dare to make them less of a man in society’s eyes.
This mindset seems to be used as a method to protect men from “the gay.” Being gay must be feared, and thus men take outlandish precautions to prevent themselves from turning gay. As if it were a choice.
In my humble opinion, men who go out of their way to bash and/or degrade homosexuality may be repressing feelings of homosexuality themselves. This fear causes them to lash out in violent and demeaning ways because toxic masculinity, again, allows only for rage and violence. They weren’t taught how to talk through their emotions; thus, asinine statements like “straight men who brunch are gay” become a topic of conversation.
I’m amazed that people think brunch, which is a pastime enjoyed by people from all walks of life, can be perceived as “gay,” while other acts that involve men are deemed perfectly heterosexual. Slapping a man on the ass during sports? Cool. Going to brunch where there are women present? Gay! The entire notion is littered with hypocrisy, and that is enough of a reason for a side eye.
Anyone who has an affinity for nice things enjoys brunch. Hell, if you’re black and degreed in Washington, D.C., brunch is not an event but a way of life. How can you not enjoy an event that mixes the best of both meals together all on one menu? And the best part is, you can be intoxicated by 4 p.m. and still have time to make it to bed and contemplate your life choices, with enough time left to sleep before work.
Yet, here we are judging people for liking nice things. Never did I think that something that combines pancakes and bacon could make you gay. Is it in the batter? Do they sprinkle a little “sugar” into your mimosas? The world may never know.
And in case you needed a reminder about one of the million ways in which brunch cannot be gay, please focus your eyes below: