The sighting of a man previously thought to have been killed by law enforcement officers has sparked a number of theories and set Black Twitter on fire with both praises of wonder and joy.
It was just three days ago when news reports out of Calvary said the activist Yeshua ben Yosef, who went by his street name, Jesus, had been crucified on an old rugged cross by an officer in the fifth prefect of the Roman province of Judea, Sgt. Pontius Pilate who quite literally served as the judge, jury and executioner.
Known for his community work, water-walking and winemaking, Jesus was part of the growing activist movement spreading through the country. He became a beloved part of his west side of Nazareth after he provided free health care by healing lepers and giving sight to the blind. His annual fish fry was legendary, even though he claimed he only used four pieces of fish and five loaves of bread.
After his crucifixion went viral, a number of conspiracy theories spread across the internet. There were rumors that he had told many of his friends that he would be back. Some even accused one of Jesus’ longtime associates, Judas Iscariot, of working with federal agents to finger Jesus for a number of crimes. During our investigation, The Root discovered a now-deleted tweet written by Judas that seems to indicate that he may have been involved. Just before his arrest, Jesus had invited a number of his friends to a gathering on his patio, now known as the Last Supper.
“We had a few drinks and ate some crackers,” said Jesus’ close friend and fellow emcee, John tha’ Baptist. “But for some reason, Judas seemed very fidgety. He even left early, saying he had to go pick up 30 pieces of silver.”
After Jesus’ death, celebrities and politicians expressed their feelings on social media. Emperor Tiberius called it an example of his law & order agenda to Make Jerusalem Great Again. Nancy Pelosi, who attended Nazareth High School with Jesus, called him a “bright and morning star” and offered her “thoughts and prayers.” Bathsheba Kardashian offered her condolences to the family, saying she was working on requesting a pardon when she heard the news. Meanwhile, his family maintains that he was innocent of all charges.
But on Sunday morning, photos of Jesus in a bright purple Easter suit began surfacing on Instagram. TMZ reported that the stone had been removed from Jesus’ crypt and Mary Magdalene, his longtime companion, posted a selfie with Yeshua before taking to Twitter to post this message:
The hashtag #HeIsRisen began trending as others celebrated the news across Black Twitter:
The Root could not confirm rumors that Jesus was about to buy NBC (The Nazareth Broadcast Channel) but the FBI has added the Messiah to the list of Black Identity Extremists.
“This will be remembered for two thousand years!” exclaimed Luke, warmly. “Of course, by then, they’ll probably say he was white.”
“I doubt it,” replied Thomas