Bill Maher Books Michael Eric Dyson in a Desperate Attempt to Get Re-Invited to the Cookout

Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images
Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images

After apologizing for casually tossing out the n-word on live TV, low-key racist and prominent liberal douchebag Bill Maher has replaced Sen. Al Franken with scholar Michael Eric Dyson on Friday’s episode of Real Time With Bill Maher.


According to Variety, Maher announced earlier that Ice Cube will also appear on the show, but when Franken refused to appear because of Maher’s racist epithet, the show reached out to Dyson in what is shaping up to be the HBO late-night talk show’s blackest episode yet.

We all know how this works. When Anthony Weiner was DMing his wiener to strangers, his wife, Huma Abedin, accompanied him to his public mea culpa. After Ray Rice punched his wife in the face, she publicly explained why the world should forgive him in an ESPN article. Now Maher will have not one—but two—black faces to whom he can repent his “nigger” sins.

And I’m sure black people will forgive him, too. Black America always gives liberal whites the benefit of the doubt. We caped for Hillary Clinton after she called us “superpredators.” We still love Bill Clinton after he used a generation of black men as fuel for America’s mass incarceration prison-industry fire.

We joined with white women wearing pink pussy hats in “resisting,” only weeks after those heauxs slithered behind the curtains of the voting booth and elected Donald Trump. Black people mistakenly believe that just because we share a political ideology with progressives, it means that progressives have the same racial ideology we have.

Even after he had white supremacist Milo Yiannopoulos, who made a career of terrorizing black women, on this season, I’m sure that Maher’s self-assured smugness won’t allow him to believe that anyone thinks he’s racist, and he’s probably not a white supremacist. Maher likely doesn’t believe that white people are better than everyone else, but it has always been evident that Maher believes that he is better than everyone else.


If you’ve ever watched a second of Real Time, you know that Maher thinks he’s smarter than conservatives, more ethical than any religious person and less racist than any white man on the planet because he occasionally winds down from a long day of being holier-than-thou with a nightcap of marijuana and black vagina.

To be fair, I am not mad or outraged by Maher’s use of the n-word. I assume that white people say “nigger” in private conversations with other white people all the time, so when it slips out in public, my only reaction is, “Seems about right.” The only time I’ve ever been shocked by the use of the word “nigger” is when I heard the entire Donald Sterling tape and realized that he didn’t say it even once. Yes, Sterling has a better grip on his racism than Maher. The way the n-word fell so softly off Maher’s tongue makes it impossible for me to believe that he doesn’t say it 13 times a day.


But isn’t that white supremacy, too? Isn’t the repeated commission of misdemeanors against black people, knowing that their voices won’t be loud enough to drown yours out, its own kind of bigotry? If they believe they can parade a few melanated faces in front of the camera and be absolved of all their transgressions against a people, isn’t that a little bit racist?

I understand why Michael Eric Dyson and Ice Cube would go on the show. It is an opportunity for a teachable moment, and they might have a personal relationship with Maher. But their upcoming appearances won’t rewind the space-time continuum and stuff the most egregious epithet a white man can say back down Maher’s throat.


I guess that’s why they call it Real Time.

So will Cube and Dyson allow Maher to come to the cookout as an “ally” and once again endear himself to black people in the intervening weeks, months or years before he does or says something slightly racist again?


Nigger, please.

Read the Variety article here.

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.


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