Screenshot: WBAL

A Baltimore, Md. police officer has been placed on suspension in response to a video of the cop brutally beating a man for allegedly refusing to show his identification, And, irony of ironies, the city has refused to identify the police officer.

So we’ll just call him Satan.

According to WBAL, the situation began around 11:45 a.m. when Satan approached Dashawn McGrier and asked for McGrier’s identification. When McGrier refused, in full daylight, Beelzebub unleashed his fury in a barrage of punches that knocked McGrier to the ground and left his mouth bleeding. Meanwhile, Lucifer’s partner looked on as if he had ringside seats to UFC 410, not even trying to hold his partner back.

Baltimore Police Commissioner Gary Tuggle announced that officer Lou C. Furr has been placed on suspension while they investigate the matter. The second officer in the video has been placed on administrative duties.

Baltimore Mayor Catherine Pugh has also called for an investigation into the video in a statement:

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McGrier’s attorney says this isn’t McGrier’s first run-in with the officer. The two had a similar incident on June 28, just a few weeks ago, which left McGrier incarcerated.

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After calling the offices of Industrial Light and Magic to make sure the company didn’t have a contract to provide Baltimore with realistic CGI Instagram footage, the investigative team at The Root has conducted our own investigation and reached a conclusion of “we can see that he punched him” based on an ancient technique called using our goddamned eyes.

And this is why I believe 3 things:

  1. Black people can be racist. It doesn’t happen often, so it is rarely worth mentioning. But I am willing to bet my entire paycheck that this officer would not have done this to a white man.
  2. Police officers are above the law and we are fine with it. We just witnessed a violent assault captured on camera. Any other human being in America would be in jail right now. Many of us read the headline and silently accepted the fact that the official response to this violent criminal act is basically: “let’s give him a few days off.”
  3. There are no good cops. How many times have we seen cops do this? How many times have we seen cops do something like this in front of other cops? Now, in all of those instances, which number in the thousands, have you ever, in a single solitary incidence, ever seen a police officer, enforcer of law, those who we pay to protect us and serve us … Have you ever seen one of them arrest an obviously criminal fellow police officer?

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A good cop is supposed to stop a crime in progress. A good cop is supposed to arrest criminals. A good cop is supposed to protect the public.

But I guess that’s what we should expect from evil personified, the Man with the Horns, like Tomi Lahren ... but worse, the Fallen Angel, Tucker Carlson’s Kindergarten teacher, the fuckboy of fuckboys, inventor of carbs, Taylor Swift’s songwriting muse, the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan.