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I Can't Root For The Knicks Anymore If Derrick Rose Is On Our Team
I’ve experienced the sweet torture of being a New York Knickerbockers fan for almost my entire life. So much of my youth was defined by major Knicks heartbreaks. There was the 1995 Eastern Semifinals against the Pacers. The ’97 Eastern Conference Semifinals against the Heat. The Finals when Olajuwon stole John Starks’ life force and…
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Shitty Candies That Trump Voters Can And Should Claim Instead Of Skittles
Assuming that I haven’t yet woken up from what I was thoroughly convinced was a fever dream, we are less than 50 days away from Election Day 2016. Labor Day has come and gone, and we are facing a credible possibility that the next four years of the American executive branch will be led by…
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The Insult And Intimidation Of Black Women Is As American As Apple Pie
In an ideal world, we would spend the next few hundred words articulating the significance of a Black woman achieving rapid career acceleration in the entertainment industry after decades of hard work. Leslie Jones’s addition to SNL, an institution Whiter than tampon commercial underwear, is a major accomplishment. As is her being cast in the Ghostbusters reboot.…
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Experience A Rape Trial Through The Perspective Of A Victim
You’ve just experienced the worst night of your life. Maybe you remember all of the details, maybe you don’t. And truly, both circumstances are a unique brand of unfathomable hell. Either the detailed knowledge of all the ways that you have been irrevocably violated seared into your brain for eternity. Or a gaping space of…
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Ray Rice Isn’t Being Blackballed by the NFL for Domestic Violence. He’s Just Not Good Anymore
Ray Rice, barring a dramatic set of miraculous circumstances, will never play for the NFL again. I know it. He knows it. Me, you, your mama and your cousin, too, know it. The homegirl from around the way knows it. Bonita Applebum may not know it yet, but she’s about to know it once I…
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"Niggas In Paris" Are Still Niggers To Parisians
I have an older cousin named Halima. She lives in Nimes with her husband and five-year-old daughter, named Hikma, who is an avid Frozen enthusiast (called La Reines des Neiges in French) and Beyonce-in-training. For the most part, they live relatively peaceful middle-class existences. But every morning, Halima makes the trek from Nimes to Avignon…
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In France, Black Lives Struggle to Matter, Too
I have an older cousin named Halima. She lives in Nimes, France, with her husband and 5-year-old daughter, named Hikma, who is an avid Frozen enthusiast (called La Reines des Neiges in French) and Beyoncé-in-training. For the most part, they live relatively peaceful middle-class lives. But every morning, Halima makes the trek from Nimes to…
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Yeah, I'm Finished With The Black Suffering Trauma Porn Of Orange Is The New Black
Warning: For those of you who do things like have lives and stuff and haven’t gotten around to watching the latest season of this Netflix show, spoilers ahead. Last Friday, Netflix dropped the latest season of Orange is The New Black, the critically-acclaimed dramedy of life in a minimum-security prison centered around Piper “I Didn’t…
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An Unofficial Guide To Ramadan Fasting For The Uninitiated Negro
The holy month of Ramadan has started for much of the Muslim population—which, despite all statements by Donald Trump and his ilk, is not exclusively made up of bomb-toting Arabs in menacing turbans. This demographic includes Asians (fun fact—Indonesia contains the largest Muslim population in the world), Caucasians, the man who sells you your bean…
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An Unofficial Guide to Ramadan for Trump Voters or the Uninitiated Negro
As of June 6, the holy month of Ramadan has started for much of the Muslim population—which, despite all statements by Donald Trump and his ilk, is not exclusively made up of bomb-toting Arabs in menacing turbans. This demographic includes Asians (fun fact—Indonesia contains the largest Muslim population in the world), Caucasians, the man who…
