-
My Black History: The Cash Money-Ruff Ryders Tour Changed Me Forever
Editor’s note: During Black History Month, the focus is usually on historical figures who loomed larger than life, paving the way for the progress we experience today. But black history isn’t just about telling stories of our past. History is being made every day and has been made throughout our lives; it’s not just in…
-
If I Were Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, I’d Put America Under ‘Do Not Answer’
When I saw the image of former President Barack Obama in flip-flops, shorts and a backward cap, along with his wife, former first lady Michelle Obama, in the shortest of shorts, walking across the beach, I was relieved for them. They served this country well for eight years—even when millions of its citizens blatantly disrespected…
-
Sean Spicer Looks Like Howard the Duck in Human Form, Is Scared of Children and Is a Terrible Press Secretary
Sean Spicer often looks guilty of something. He looks like the person who went into the work refrigerator, saw the juice with your name on it and drank it anyway—and put it back with not the slightest ounce of shame. Spicer also seems like the driver you end up cursing out on the freeway because…
-
Why Is Tina Campbell Helping President Hog’s-Head-Cheese Hussein?
If I could charter our new President Hog’s-Head-Cheese Hussein a flight anywhere, the destination would be obvious: the Seventh Circle of Hell. If his long list of sins against humanity before he was elected (insert laugh track) president did not confirm what an arrogant, selfish, greedy, cruel waste of the gift of life he is,…
-
For Kellyanne Conway Haters Who Need Support When Shouting at the TV Is Not Enough
I should have known Kellyanne Conway couldn’t be trusted when it became all too apparent that she couldn’t be bothered to place trust in a comb before appearing on national television. If that sounds cruel to you, to quote my spiritual adviser, Beyoncé, “I ain’t sorry,” so don’t anticipate any Anita Baker-grade apology from me.…
-
I’ll Be Skipping the Pity Party Held by Honeysuckle Lenin Voters
As the pool of white tears begins to flood from the influx of supporters of our newly elected authoritarian who are expressing regret over their votes, allow me to extend the following invitation to one and all: Drown. Recently, USA Today published an op-ed entitled, “I Voted for Trump, Not Against Planned Parenthood.” In it,…
-
Don’t Save Melania Trump; She Don’t Wanna Be Saved
When it comes to Melania Trump, multiple things can be true if you try really, really hard not to operate at the same intellectual level as her dimwitted husband. Like, even if Slovenia’s new favorite daughter chose to pose nude back in her modeling days, it was wrong for the New York Post to publish…
-
About Putin and His New Boo
Now that doomsday has happened, there are certain things to which we can look forward. For one, there will be pain. Lots and lots of pain. Unfortunately, it won’t be like a Betty Wright track in which said pain will yield some gain. It will just hurt. There will also be plenty of stupidity because…
-
About the Blacks the Marigold Manchurian Candidate Has Been Meeting
For as long as he is president, there will be debate over whether or not black people should be meeting with the Marigold Manchurian Candidate. It’s a question The Root’s political editor, Jason Johnson, recently tackled in the piece “So, When Is It OK to Meet With Trump?” While we are in accord with the…
-
In the Spirit of Living Single, Reboot These Black Shows, Too
During a recent appearance on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, Queen Latifah revealed that there has been discussion about a revival of Living Single. While some of us were immediately joyful about seeing the return of Khadijah James, Regine Hunter and Maxine Shaw and hearing the phrase, “Put some beans in that oven,” others were…
