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Putin Wants to Get Under the Wig of Sunkist Stalin After Realizing He Helped Elect the Political Equivalent of a Quick Weave as President
No shade to the Kremlin, but if you have to pay for a psychological dossier on Sunkist Stalin, there’s a reason Muva Russia has gone from global superpower to Broke-Bitch Nation. Yes, such a declaration may lead to my emails being hacked, my nudes being spread like a dope Spotify playlist and God knows what…
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Chris Brown Refuses to Stop Acting Like Light, Bright Ike Turner
If Sinbad and Ike Turner had a child of great talent and potential who would ultimately squander both because of his issues with anger and maybe some matters that recall the D.A.R.E. program, he’d look and aggressively dance a lot like Chris Brown. Brown is the R&B equivalent of the kin you’ve rooted for but…
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Bill Maher Needs to Cut the Shit; He Had Milo Yianracistspeech on for Ratings, Nothing More
Milo Yiannopoulos is a snide, racist piece of shit who benefits from the lowered expectations typically afforded to even the most mediocre white man. He has been referred to as a “beast” who “obliterates” political correctness, as if PC culture—even at its peak—ever stopped a hate-mongering white dude with daddy issues from spouting out his…
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White Folks Can’t Just Come to the Cookout Because They Perform Blackness
Whenever a white person does something remotely decent related to black people or black culture—be it displaying basic decency or performing some act with competence—a chorus of Negroes will declare, “They can come to the cookout!” For our new white readers, “the cookout” is essentially what most of us across these United States refer to…
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Stephen Miller, the Other Big Racist in the White House
White House Senior Policy Adviser Stephen Miller has the charm of Hannibal Lector and the ideology of a neo-Nazi who prefers to sit in business class. While Miller’s name was dropped throughout the presidential campaign, it was only last weekend that the other big racist in the White House really made his presence felt after…
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President Bankruptcy Batista Thinks Obama Likes Him; Someone Remove This Lie From His Mind, Stat
Like anything else that involves communication, your president’s recent interview with fellow belligerent white man Bill O’Reilly was a clusterfuck. Most of the fallout from it, though, focused on Bankruptcy Batista taking issue with O’Reilly’s categorization of Russian President Vladimir Putin as a “killer.” “There are a lot of killers,” 45 shot back. “We’ve got…
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Tim Scott Doesn’t Like Being Called Names for Voting for Sessions, but He Must Live With Voting for a Good Ol’ Boy
Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) seems to prefer that you not refer to him as a “house Negro.” Or as an “Uncle Tom.” Likewise, Scott does not care for the insinuation that his conservative leanings equate to a complete condemnation of his own community. The lone black Republican member of the U.S. Senate conveyed such sentiments…
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Sean Duffy Has Been Trash Since The Real World: Boston, so Why Does CNN Keep Booking Him?
Long before there was a racist, practically brainless U.S. president whose previous greatest claim to fame was being the host of a reality show, there was Sean Duffy. For those of us who remember MTV’s The Real World before season 97 or whatever number they’re on now, Duffy was on season 5 of the legendary…
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Got a Sunny D Zedong Supporter or Someone Almost as Stupid in Your Life? Dump ’Em
After 22 years of marriage, Gayle McCormick was suddenly no longer caught up in the rapture of love with her husband. McCormick is 73, a retired prison guard and a self-described “Democrat leaning toward socialist.” In other words, she is Bernie Sanders with a vagina. So when the ultraliberal Dorothy Zbornak found out that her…
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Beyoncé Should Win All the Grammys This Weekend, but It Won’t Make Up for How This Show Treats Black Women and Black Art
On its surface, when news hit of Beyoncé leading the 2017 Grammy Awards with nine nominations, it read as nothing short of a win for the behemoth pop star. The Houston native has scored nods in the three big categories: Album of the Year, for her sixth studio offering, Lemonade; and Song of the Year…
