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The Best of Maxine Waters (Since Sunny D Zedong Won the Election)
As all sensible people know, the 45th president of the United States is a stupid, shifty, lying son of a bitch. If you heard “son of a bitch” in Tisha Campbell’s voice when she played Yvonne in Boomerang, congratulations, you’re a real one. However, when it comes to sensible people in public life who are…
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Stop Portraying White Millennials as Less Racist Than Their Votes and Poll Responses Suggest
Whether it’s a Bantu knot, a cornrow or some Paula Deen recipe that was likely “inspired” by her former black chef, white people are always being assigned credit for the work done by darker people. This is not a new phenomenon by any stretch of the imagination, but it is perpetually annoying. And when it’s…
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Why Are TLC Going on Tour With the Dude From Sugar Ray?
Last month, TLC celebrated the 25th anniversary of their groundbreaking debut album, Ooooooohhh … on the TLC Tip. Last week, TLC announced that they’ll be headlining the “I Love the 90’s Tour: The Party Continues,” which will feature Montell Jordan, Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath, Naughty by Nature and Biz Markie. Presently, I’m wondering how a…
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Bless Her Heart, Iggy Azalea Is Still Trying
Who told Iggy Azalea to stop working with black people from Atlanta and pretending to be the love child of Charli Baltimore and Diamond from Crime Mob? Although “Fancy,” that fake-ass DJ Mustard track, was a monstrous hit, beyond that song, the only other decent ones Azalea ever managed to release were “Pu$$y” and “Murda…
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Sean Spicer Is Insufferable
As lovely a title as “White House press secretary” sounds, if the job becomes nothing more than trying not to lose your brains and balls to your degenerate boss who’s detached from reality, when does one’s inner Kenny Rogers appear to “know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em”? Granted, considering that Sean…
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Breaking: Migos Can Record With Frank Ocean and Still Be Guilty of Homophobia
I hate when my favorite ignorant rappers remind me of just how ignorant they are. Like, I already know how trifling I am listening to your mindless, misogynistic, materialistic but incredibly enjoyable, bop-friendly music. The last thing I want to know is that you say trash things without a trap beat. I need this escapism…
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Almost a Month After ‘shETHER,’ Nicki Minaj Seems to Be Doing Just Fine-Fine-Fine-Fine-Fine (Whew)
Nearly a month after the release of “shETHER,” Nicki Minaj has two of the most added songs on radio, while Remy Ma still tends to struggle with rapping on beat and finding a fan base who will support her beyond seven minutes. Already, one imagines select readers will scream that I am a Minaj fan,…
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Van Jones Is Way Too Kind to That Demagogue and Those Deplorables
For some time now, Van Jones has offered a bevy of political musings that might prompt more sensible, less forgiving souls to barf in a bag or bang their head against a wall, but it seems only now that are some catching on. Recently, the CNN political commentator managed to piss off quite a few…
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Why Won’t Y’all’s Punk-Ass President Stop Campaigning? Have We Not Suffered Enough?
On Wednesday morning, y’all’s punk-ass president began his day the way he so often does: by ruining everyone’s morning with deranged tweets reeking of stupidity, paranoia and various strains of bullshit. First he took shots at Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporter David Cay Johnston—whom he claims no one has ever heard of, even though Tropicana Jong-il…
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Ciara Is a Waste of ‘Crunk&B,’ but Future Is a Terrible Person
Roses are red, violets are blue and Future is a terrible fucking person. This should not be a novel idea to anyone who has ever read a Future interview, scrolled through Future’s social media accounts or listened to most of his catalog. No one should need a member of the Mystery Machine to connect the…
