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Why Won’t Y’all’s Punk-Ass President Stop Campaigning? Have We Not Suffered Enough?
On Wednesday morning, y’all’s punk-ass president began his day the way he so often does: by ruining everyone’s morning with deranged tweets reeking of stupidity, paranoia and various strains of bullshit. First he took shots at Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporter David Cay Johnston—whom he claims no one has ever heard of, even though Tropicana Jong-il…
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Ciara Is a Waste of ‘Crunk&B,’ but Future Is a Terrible Person
Roses are red, violets are blue and Future is a terrible fucking person. This should not be a novel idea to anyone who has ever read a Future interview, scrolled through Future’s social media accounts or listened to most of his catalog. No one should need a member of the Mystery Machine to connect the…
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Underground: A Stellar Slave Tale Even if You’re Slaved Out
Whenever I hear skinfolk exclaim that they are exhausted by slave-related stories, my immediate reaction traditionally is to extend to them the invitation to shut their black asses up. About a year ago, though, I inadvertently behaved like the kind of people I have written about. The kind who more or less profess to be…
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Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta Is Back: Kirk Is a Nasty Thot and Folks Can’t Keep Out of Joseline’s Womb
Midway through the last season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, I started to hear Beyoncé’s voice: “I’m through with it/Through with it (love)/I’m finally giving it up.” While I love my Negro telenovelas, the previous season was not up to par. It had a bunch of new folks whose problems I didn’t care about,…
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Why Do Folks Think Ivanka Trump Is Anything but a Filtered Version of Her Dad?
Unlike select pundits who marvel when a maniac can communicate his planned monstrosities in milder tones, I found nothing impressive about Tangerine Mussolini’s speech to a joint session of Congress last week. Perhaps when you’re a boorish hatemonger who speaks as if his tongue had a stroke while trying to cross over from a fourth-grade…
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Can Someone Tell Apricot Idi Amin That Obama Was on Vacation, Not Worrying About Him?
Can someone explain to y’all’s punk-ass president that former President Barack Obama has been far more focused on tanning and swag surfing than riling up protesters who don’t need help hating his hateful, raggedy self? I would volunteer, but I imagine Omarosa would swoop in on the call and curse me out in the name…
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Remember: No Matter How Awful Parmesan Putin Is, George W. Bush Still Ain’t Shit
One may as well wear a white hood, while the other governed as if he were donning a dunce cap, but make no mistake: Hot garbage may have a stronger stench than its colder counterpart, but trash is trash. So when it comes to the growing sentiment that maybe, just maybe, former President George W.…
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Get Your Feet Off That Damn White House Couch, Kellyanne Conway
No-Comb Conway continues to dance off-beat all over my last nerve. It’s not enough that the Mistress of Propaganda has not been benched despite recent reports and my personal pleas to Black Jesus, but now this liar who helped make her con artist client president of the United States continues to show her utter disregard…
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Black-Led TV Shows Have Always Had Crossover Appeal; So Why the Side-Piece Treatment?
Earlier this month, Nielsen unveiled a study examining the broader appeal of black-led and/or -focused content—particularly in television. It begins with acknowledgment that black people play a pivotal role in shaping various sectors of popular culture in the U.S. In its findings, “73 percent of non-Hispanic whites and 67 percent of Hispanics believe that African…
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How Many Damn Defenses of That Basket of Deplorables Do We Need?
Last November, a majority of white people in America voted for a bigot for president. If you voted for a man who campaigned on xenophobia, racism, sexism and other strains of bigotry, you either share his prejudices or you are complicit in them. The former makes you an audacious racist; the latter, a bystander, which…
