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Leaked Emails Reveal That Colin Powell, A 79-Year-Old Black Man, Acts Exactly Like Every 79-Year-Old Black Man
Colin Powell is not here for your bullshit. He, in fact, is so not here for your bullshit that if “your bullshit” was a high school homeroom teacher taking attendance, Colin Powell would be in the bathroom brushing his waves, silently humming “I aint here for this shit” while bouncing in the mirror. He is…
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Why Patrice Brown (AKA #TeacherBae) Is The Subject Of A Dumb-Ass "Debate," Explained
Who is Patrice Brown? Patrice Brown is an elementary school teacher in Atlanta. She is also the muse for a verse about “Nicey from Atlanta” from a song that Drake hasn’t produced yet. And in it Drake will lament about that one time he was in a Panera Bread in Buckhead and he met this teacher he wanted…
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The President And The First Lady Are Totally, Definitely Fucking Everywhere In The White House
Of course, its extremely presumptuous of me — or anyone, rather — to speculate on the Obamas’ sex life. Who knows what’s happening privately between them? For all we know, they could have one of those arrangements like Claire and Frank Underwood where they both kinda do their own thing (and occasionally include secret service…
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Damon Young's Talk At The University Of Houston
As I wrote yesterday, the University of Houston’s Valenti School of Communication invited me to campus to speak about race and writing and shit. Video footage of the talk is below. A couple highlights: ***I was wearing a mic, but apparently it wasn’t working. I didn’t realize it wasn’t working, though, so I kept talking. Moments later,…
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Six Thoughts From A Week In Houston; The 64 Ounce Mega Gulp Of American Cities
As I boarded my flight to Houston last week — stuck in an aisle seat on a two and a half hour long flight (Which would likely leave me unable to do what I always do on planes: Sleep.) — I hoped that, at the very least, my neighbor would be a smaller person. Preferably…
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If You're An American, And You Don't Give A Damn About Black Americans, Your "Patriotism" Is Bullshit
For the past week, the prevailing national conversations spring boarded by Colin Kaepernick’s protest have primarily dealt with the level of patriotism possessed by Kaepernick and others aligned with his beliefs about our country and supportive of his means of protest. Some of this conversation has existed in the form of nuanced acknowledgements of the very real and relevant sources…
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How To Talk To A Woman In A Diabetic Coma
We’ve all been there before. You notice an attractive lady, and you want to make her aware of your existence as a man who just noticed her for the first time seven seconds ago but now wants to have sex with her. But unfortunately a lifelong diet of caramel frappachinos and king-size Whatchamacallits have placed her…
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Colin Kaepernick Isn't Too Rich To Protest. This Is America, Remember? We Only Listen To Rich People.
Last week, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick became the first athlete in a major America team sport since Mahmoud Abdul Rauf to protest the National Anthem by refusing to stand for it. Kaepernick’s rationale has been that he can’t honor a flag that represents a country that oppresses people of color; Black people particularly.…
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The 10 Best (And Worst) Moments From The Blackest VMAs I've Ever Seen
The realization occurred during Rihanna’s extended dancehall set. As I watched her emerge from a sea of dozens of niggas from Flatbush grinding and winding and puppy-tailing on the VMA stage, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d ever seen that many Black people on the VMAs at the same time. (No.) Which then made me…
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The Trailer For Same Kind Of Different As Me Is Exactly Why White People Must Be Stopped
When the Gods decide to show favor to us, it is a sin not to rejoice and exult in your fortune. It is also necessary that when given this unexpected bout of grace, its shared so that others can receive and partake in the good. So when Dolezal, the Goddess of Post-Racial Fuckshit, decided to…
