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Six Tips For Everyone Who's Ever Emailed Me For Advice On How To Start A Blog Or How To Write For A Living
1. Perhaps, because I’ve managed to create a popular blog and etch out a career where people pay me money to write words about things on a computer screen so that people can read them, you’ve assumed that I have unique insights to offer. This is understandable, as you’re not the first and will not…
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What Exactly Does Dave Chappelle Want From Key & Peele?
Approximately midway through one of his new Netflix comedy specials (the one he taped last year in L.A. — I’ve yet to see the one taped in Austin), Dave Chappelle made a shocking allusion to his age. I forgot exactly what he said and how he said it, but I remember being reminded of exactly…
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Steve Harvey Is The St. Peter Of The Sunken Place
Imagine, if you can, the sheer terror of watching yourself descend into The Sunken Place. Your body suspended in a perpetual state of hypnagogia. Your mind lucid enough to be conscious of the fright and the dread of what’s happening to your soul but too subdued — too horrifyingly and devastatingly paralytic — do to anything…
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Is Rick Ross A Good Rapper?
There are two ways to answer the question asked in the title. 1. He is a professional rapper, having been one for over a decade, and his professional rappings are quite proficient and popular. Compared to the average person — or, even better, compared to me when I attempt to rap (which often occurs when…
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Tyrese Very Obviously Needs A Hobby, So Let's Find Tyrese A Hobby!
Empty Stacey Adams shoebox lined with Baby Boy DVDs and back-ordered bigen with sentience Tyrese Gibson is very obviously bored. Because there’s no other reason for a recently married man to hop on Instagram and offer his unsolicited hotepian insights on how the women he’s not married to or even dating or sleeping with (because, again, this…
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21 Times in Get Out When Chris Should Have Gotten the Hell Out
Although Jordan Peele’s brilliant (and now record-breaking) Get Out inverts classic horror tropes and societal expectations by making the “well-meaning” white people the bogeymen and the black dude the damsel in distress, its dramatic tension still relies on one thing you’ll find in pretty much every other horror film: the protagonist ignoring his gut and…
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Yup, I Have My Own Kid Now. And Yup, I Still Believe Spanking Is A Terrible And Cruel Form Of Discipline
I’m going to keep this short. Because I’ve already written on this topic. And because Stacey Patton’s brilliant and searing New York Times piece (“Stop Beating Black Children“) makes the case better than I ever could, tracing the cruel and dangerous and useless practice of beating our own kids into suitable behavior back to slavery, arguing that we’re…
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The 10 Most Dangerous Types Of Supposedly "Cool" White People
While it goes without saying that there are some legitimately cool and sincere and empathetic White people out there (#notallwhitepeople — shout out to all the “White Mikes” and “White Kims“), there are also some supposedly “cool-ass” and “good” White folks we’d be wise to keep our eyes on; whose pervasive aintshitness is subtle, hidden…
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Well, On The Bright Side, At Least "No Frauds" Is Proof That Nicki Minaj DOES Write Her Own Rhymes
Despite the claims of Remy Ma and many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many others, I’ve never subscribed to the belief that Nicki Minaj employs and relies on a cadre of ghostwriters to prop her up. Mainly because it’s a claim that always seems to resurface whenever there’s a popular female rapper who also makes no…
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The Most Important Parts Of A Good Chicken Wing, Ranked
8. The type of wing (Flats today, flats tomorrow, flats forever.) 7. An appropriate amount of liquid-based white substances to dip them in (For the record, blue cheese and ranch are the only appropriate liquid-based white substances. If you’re eating wings with me and you try to dip a wing in some mayo or some fucking…
