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The Asian Doctor Dragged Off A United Airlines Flight Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
“Punk rock” entered our lexicon a couple decades ago as an adjective attached to things with no obvious connection to punk rock music. Instead, that phrase is used as a stand-in for a certain fuck-deprived, anti-establishment, devil-may-care ethos associated with it. And it could be used to modify anything — a person’s attitude, eating milk-less cereal…
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Please Stop Pretending You Have Any Clue Why Trump Bombed Syria, Because His Daft Ass Doesn't Know Either!
Interestingly enough, the most annoying byproduct of the reign of Darth Cheeto and the gaggle of sycophantic Nazi chiltins surrounding him isn’t actually the burgeoning genre of MAGA fanfic trying to explain the unconditional support he still receives from his followers — where writers, essayists, journalists, bloggers, and reporters spend thousands of words examining them when…
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The #PepsiLivesMatter Ad Turning A Protest March Into Coachella Is Exactly Why White People Must Be Stopped
In the first installment of the “White People Must Be Stopped” series, Dolezal, the Goddess of Post-Racial Fuckshit, descended from the heavens and blessed us with the trailer for Same Kind of Different as Me — which ended up being the single most entertaining thing I saw in 2016. (Seriously, if you’re ever depressed and need a…
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The National Park Service Guy's Face When Getting That Bullshit Check From Trump Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
The face Harpers Ferry National Historical Park superintendent Tyrone Brandyburg made yesterday when presented a $78,333 check from Donald Trump — the same Donald Trump who plans to cut funding from the National Park Service — is a face we all recognize. Because its a face of recognition. It’s the “This nigga…” face. Which is also…
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How Many Profiles Are We Going To Read About Idiot Trump Supporters Doubling Down On Self-Sabotaging Whiteness?
This is (obviously) a rhetorical question. It’s impossible to answer. And as long as bloggers and reporters and columnists and opinion writers continue to pitch and write pieces where they either don’t know or pretend not to know why so many idiot Trump supporters still stand steadfast by their man, we will continue to read…
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Criticism Is A Great Thing You Analog Motherfuckers
Out of the hundreds of perplexing and entertaining responses I received when writing about Dave Chappelle on VSB last week and then again at GQ this week — tweets, comments, and emails ranging from “you’re a coon” and “y’all must’ve been bought by NBC or Home Depot or something” to remarkably descriptive suggestions for different…
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I Can't Hold A Grudge To Save My Life, So Janet Hubert Is My New Grudge Goals
I’ve been blessed with many talents. I can eat eight buttermilk pancakes in one sitting. I can recite each of the lyrics from Jesus Christ Superstar on call and without instrumental assistance. I can see asses from the front even if they’re not fat. And I have an innate and uncanny gift for accidentally splashing a…
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Four Emails White People Send To Black People When Black People Write Or Talk About Racism
A word. In the fifth graf of “Racism Is Really Bad”, you cite a story about a time your great uncle applied for a home loan, and wasn’t able to receive it because, according to you, the bank didn’t loan money to black people. As you stated, the bank manager even personally came out of…
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"A Six-Foot-Long Hefty Bag Full Of Wet Farts And Dog Nipples" And 20 More Things Bill O'Reilly Looks Like
Bill O’Reilly apparently thinks Maxine Waters looks like James Brown. Here are some things I think Bill O’Reilly looks like. 1. Bill O’Reilly, but if Bill O’Reilly actually died 20 years ago and no one’s gathered the nerve to tell him yet 2. The face people in horror movies make when the alien hidden inside…
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If You Ever See What Looks To Be A Dead Possum On The Ground, Leave That Zombie Possum The Fuck Alone
They say that the best way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans. I generally agree with this; the universe and His intentions for it are too incomprehensible for mortal understanding. But I do know, with one hundred thousand trillion percent certainty, that God’s plan for me does not involve me seeing…
