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21 Times in Get Out When Chris Should Have Gotten the Hell Out
Although Jordan Peele’s brilliant (and now record-breaking) Get Out inverts classic horror tropes and societal expectations by making the “well-meaning” white people the bogeymen and the black dude the damsel in distress, its dramatic tension still relies on one thing you’ll find in pretty much every other horror film: the protagonist ignoring his gut and…
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Yup, I Have My Own Kid Now. And Yup, I Still Believe Spanking Is A Terrible And Cruel Form Of Discipline
I’m going to keep this short. Because I’ve already written on this topic. And because Stacey Patton’s brilliant and searing New York Times piece (“Stop Beating Black Children“) makes the case better than I ever could, tracing the cruel and dangerous and useless practice of beating our own kids into suitable behavior back to slavery, arguing that we’re…
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The 10 Most Dangerous Types Of Supposedly "Cool" White People
While it goes without saying that there are some legitimately cool and sincere and empathetic White people out there (#notallwhitepeople — shout out to all the “White Mikes” and “White Kims“), there are also some supposedly “cool-ass” and “good” White folks we’d be wise to keep our eyes on; whose pervasive aintshitness is subtle, hidden…
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Real Talk, Viola Davis's Spontaneous Snot Bubble In Fences Should Have Won An Oscar Too
It’s been over a week since Viola Davis won her first Academy Award for her portrayal of “Rose” in Denzel Washington’s screen adaptation of August Wilson’s iconic and devastating Fences; bringing her one step closer to coveted EGOT status. Which means it’s been over a week since the biggest travesty of awards season took place. And…
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I'm Suffering From "Every Time I Hear 'First Lady' I Think 'Michelle Obama' Even Though She Aint It Anymore" Syndrome
I’ve accepted, grudgingly, that empty Miracle Whip jar filled with dead maggots with sentience Donald Trump is President of the United States. It’s a reality both horrifying (for obvious reasons) and validating, as his ascent and the support that allowed him to ascend is the best possible verification that America desperately wants to be Crash but is…
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America's Love Affair With Immoral And Mediocre-Ass White Men Will Be Its Downfall
If we are to believe Bill Maher — and, for the record, I don’t — booking pig anus found in the bottom of a package of chitlins with sentience Milo Yiannopoulos was an elaborate bit of subterfuge intended to shine a light on how repugnant Yiannopoulos’s views and actions are. From Dave Itzkoff’s interview with Maher in…
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Lemonade Didn't Win Album Of The Year Because White People Don't Know How To Not Be White People
I chose not to watch the Grammys last night. Not because of any type of protest or performative apathy, but because my wife had a work-ish commitment that left me with my daughter all weekend, and it’s impossible to get any writing done when the Feminist Octopus is around. Sunday evening from 8pm to 2am…
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"Black People Would Be Wealthy If We Stopped Buying Jordans And Weave" Has Always Been And Will Always Be Bullshit
Whenever a large group of Black people happen to come together — and this could be on Facebook, at a BBQ, during a happy hour, or perhaps even while teaching a Kappa how to throw a football — conversations about economic empowerment are not particularly uncommon. They don’t always happen — sometimes you just want…
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10 Possible Places Trump Found The Random Group Of Niggas With Him During His Black History Month Press Conference
1. The Random Group Of Niggas Store — a store which specializes in providing random groups of niggas for people who require random groups of niggas for various purposes 2. The break room of a Sage Steele fan club membership committee meeting 3. A lottery choosing numbers 17 through 31 on the posters in every…
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I've Spent All Morning Trying To Find The Lie In Lebron's Charles Barkley Clapback
For the past several years, Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen drive-thru window with sentience Charley Barkley has been pretty vocal and consistent with his criticism of Lebron James, questioning everything from his competitive spirit, his heart, his decision-making, and his friends. Admittedly, he usually prefaces this criticism with an acknowledgement of James’s talent and an articulation of…
