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America Is A Big-Ass Alternative Fact
The first time I lied on my dick was the summer between 5th and 6th grade, when realizing that lying about the dispossession of my virginity to impress veteran non-virgins and fellow rising sixth graders (and, more than likely, fellow liars) Aaron Ray and Anthony Allen was much easier than finding a willing partner to attempt to have sex…
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The Difference Between Bougie, Boujee, and Bourgie/Bourgeois, Explained
Really? You’re going to devote an entire explainer to a pedantic semantic distinction only like 27 people care about? Yes. I am going to do exactly that. Why? Because it’s fun! Like, you know how you might see a flyer advertising a concert Jaheim is holding in a Arby’s parking lot next weekend — the…
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America Didn’t Deserve Michelle Obama
I forgot exactly where we were in Pittsburgh. Maybe driving from the Target in East Liberty to the YMCA in the Mexican War Streets. Or, perhaps, at my wife’s grandmother’s house in the Hill District, eating smothered turkey burgers with smoked kale greens and washing them down with Pineapple Faygo. But I do remember who…
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Why Thirsty White Women Like Leah McSweeney Are A Menace To Society, Explained
Who is Leah McSweeney? Leah McSweeney is apparently a person who exists on Earth. I assume she possesses functional limbs, a measure of sentience, and perhaps even a social security number, but I could be wrong. Why is she in the news today? During an episode of her Improper Etiquette podcast, McSweeney accused Michael Che of…
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Dr. Umar Johnson And The Hotep Civil War, Explained
Ok, so I’ve seen you reference “Hoteps” before — with quizzes, video content, and even the way you conjugate certain verbs — but I don’t think I’ve ever quite seen a clear definition or explanation on what makes a hotep a hotep. Would you mind providing one? No problem! In this context, Hotep refers to…
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Its Time To Stop Allowing Ourselves To Be Seduced By Shitty White Women
Tomi Lahren is a terrible person. Not misunderstood. Or just a conservative. Or capital letter White. Or even very problematic. No, she is an abjectly awful person. She says abhorrent and hateful things, and has leveraged this abhorrence and hate to give herself a larger platform to infect more people with it and make more money…
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Joe McKnight Is Dead And His Killer Is Free Because His Life Didn't Matter Enough For Him To Be Alive
Birthday parties for babies tend to be more for the adults present than the actual baby celebrated, and my daughter’s first birthday party — which, due to rush of people who happened to be in town Thanksgiving weekend, was pushed up to the Saturday after Thanksgiving (the 26th) instead of her actual birthday (the 30th) — was…
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Why So Many Liberal White Guys Just Can't Admit The Election Was About Race, Explained
Who are liberal White people? Liberal White people are somewhere trying very, very hard. Where can you find them? Trader Joe’s parking lots. Inner-city bike lanes. Jason Derulo listening parties. Giving TED Talks about couscous. Writing for Slate. Producing feminist porn. I see. So, how are liberal White people taking Donald Trump’s election? Well, I’m not…
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Mark Lilla's "The End Of Identity Liberalism" Is The Whitest Thing I've Ever Read
A predictable but still fascinating byproduct of the election is the emergence of a new sub-genre of discourse and literature solely comprised of White people attempting to explain Trump’s win without saying the words “race” or “racism.” Its almost as if they’re engaged in some sort of devolved, pre-racial game of Taboo. “Quick, explain what happened…
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Those "I'm Not My Grandparents; You Can Catch These Hands" Shirts Are Disrespectful As Fuck (And Wrong)
I was invited to New York City Friday evening for an advance screening of the screen adaptation of Fences — August Wilson’s iconic play. Afterwards, the cast — including Denzel Washington (who also produced and directed the film) and Viola Davis — took part in a panel discussion about the story the film told, August Wilson’s genius, Pittsburgh…
