-
A 15-Step Guide on How to Talk to and Deal With the Trump Supporters in Your Family This Thanksgiving
1. [Find] 2 tablespoons olive oil, one 1.5- to 2-pound lobster, 1 pound of shrimp, 2 pounds small elbow macaroni, one stick of butter (two sticks optional), half cup (2 ounces) shredded Muenster cheese, half cup shredded mild cheddar cheese, half cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese, half cup shredded Monterey Jack, half cup shredded provolone…
-
Do White People Have Cousins?
Why don’t white people acknowledge their cousins? (Or do they?)
-
10 Great Excuses for When You’re a Guest With Someone’s Family at Thanksgiving and They Offer Chitlins and You Don’t Want to Offend Them
I eat chitlins occasionally, but I know some of y’all bougie Negroes don’t. And I also know that some of y’all chitlin doubters will be with friends’ or your new partner’s family over the holidays for the first time. And there might be chitlins present. And you might be wondering what to say or do…
-
‘Disrespectful’ and More Things White People Say When They Really Want to Call Black People the N-Word but Can’t
Like the devil—who I’ve heard is a 3-handicap golfer and makes a killer sangria—Donald Trump is not without his good qualities. He’s a great, Zoolander-level squinter. Perhaps one of the world’s all-time great squinters. He’s apparently amazing at purchasing and eating KFC. It’s not a game with Trump’s Chicken Littles combo-eating game. When Donald Trump…
-
LaVar Ball Just Won
Sentient Mr. Potato Head with Larry David-brand Asperger’s LaVar Ball successfully trolled the world’s biggest troll into . . . 1. Saying LaVar Ball’s name. 2. Saying his middle son’s name. 3. Placing them both smack dab in the middle of an international incident. 4. Making LaVar Ball’s name known on an international level. 5.…
-
The 25 Best and Blackest Things About Chance the Rapper’s ‘Come Back, Barack’ Video on Saturday Night Live
1. The name of the group: De-Von-Tré. This is such a great and appropriate ’90s R&B name that I’m shocked it was available. Kinda like when you meet someone whose Twitter handle is @John and you think, “How the fuck did you get John?” 2. The very first shot of the video, of Chris Redd…
-
A Sentence-by-Sentence Reply to This Racist-ish and Awkwardly Punctuated Facebook Message I Got Yesterday
Jhon [redacted] and I are not friends, but I hope one day that we will be. If I am ever in London (where he apparently lives), I’ll make every effort to stop past [redacted] (where he apparently works) and introduce myself. Until then, however, I’ll have to settle for replying to this glorious message he…
-
White Meats I Personally Find Much Sexier Than Blake Shelton, Ranked
20. Chicken lunch meat 19. Chicken McNuggets 18. Uncooked Oscar Mayer turkey bacon 17. Turkey lunch meat 16. Campbell’s chicken-noodle-soup chicken 15. The tiny white cubes found in mortadella 14. The fatty part of the Easter ham my mom used to make that she’d chop up and put into eggs for breakfast and make them…
-
White People Are Weird! Why Are Y’all So Damn Weird? Can Y’all Stop Being So Damn Weird?
Others, including The Root’s staff writer Michael Harriot, have already written about the support Sean Hannity received after some of his sponsors cut ties with him for having alleged child molester Roy Moore on his show to explain his tendency to date teens. We know, already, that this support at all costs is hypocritical. And…
-
How, if You’re a Man, to Deal With the Fact That You’re Probably Trash
The one thing I keep coming back to when thinking about Louis C.K. now isn’t the bizarre and abusive sexual habits revealed, in detail, last week by the New York Times—repeated forms of sexual misconduct that confirm the long-standing rumors about him and validate platforms such as Gawker, which first reported on this several years…
