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The 20 Blackest Moments From Sharon Reed’s Clapback Heard Round the World
1. At the 0:09 mark, Sharon Reed says there’s some “confusion behind the scenes.” Which is a lie in the same black-ass vein as someone beginning a sentence with “It’s just funny that … ” when what’s about to follow isn’t funny at all. This is professional Negro judo. “Sharon Reed” is Swahili for “Pai…
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Dear 24- to 45-Year-Old White People Who Live in Urban Spaces: Why Don’t You Put Curtains and Blinds on Your Windows?
A house in my neighborhood was recently purchased by a man who looks to be in his early to mid-30s. I haven’t met him yet. But after being his neighbor for a month, I already know about the size, make and model of the TV in his living room; his affinity for wearing robes during…
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Roy Moore Invited to Speak at Black Church and Those Negroes Ought to Be Ashamed of Themselves
Monday night, before going to bed, I read that the Republican National Committee was reconsidering its endorsement of alleged serial pedophile Roy Moore. And by “was reconsidering its endorsement of,” I mean, “LOLOLOLOLOLOL YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT THOSE CRAVEN, DIAPER-SNIFFING JACKWADS WEREN’T GOING TO ENDORSE HIM???” None of this, for anyone with even a passing knowledge…
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Snitches, Ranked
10. Cypher (The Matrix) 9. Darth Susan from accounting 8. Kobe Bryant 7. Frank Lucas (American Gangster and real life) 6. Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero (The Sopranos) 5. Michael Flynn 4. Henry Hill (Goodfellas and real life) 3. Pookie (New Jack City) 2. Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano 1. Judas
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The Problem(s) With Joyner Lucas’ ‘I’m Not Racist,’ Explained
Joyner Lucas is an American rapper from Worcester, Massachusetts currently signed to Atlantic Records. He garnered widespread exposure and critical praise after the release of his single “Ross Capicchioni” in 2015. In 2017, he released his fourth mixtape (and first on a major label), 508-507-2209. Joyner gained national attention when he appeared on the 2015…
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5 Life Hacks for Black People Who Want to Leverage White Guilt to Make White People Uncomfortable at Work
We all already know that America is a haven for white supremacy: a 400-year-old greenhouse for white privilege where the vegetation is watered by white tears and casserole juice. Fortunately, there’s space within this forest of whiteness to cheat the game a little bit and use the guilt some of them feel for being historically…
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Small Talk Is Trash and the World Would Be a Better Place if Everyone Just Stopped Doing It
There is a man right now standing in line at a place where he is waiting to get a quick meal, perhaps. Or maybe a small coffee. Just something to help him through the day. He is not having a particularly bad or good day—it’s a regular, run-of-the-mill, mundane Wednesday. Later that day, he might…
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A Review of the Shrimp and Grits I Literally Just Ate an Hour Ago at Miss Shirley’s Cafe in Baltimore
I flew in to Baltimore this morning to speak at Morgan State University later today. But enough about that! I need to tell y’all about this meal I literally just finished eating, because I’m sitting here by myself and I need to tell someone about this shit! My talk is at 11 a.m., but my…
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Everything You Need to Know About Meghan Markle’s ‘Level of Blackness,’ Explained
She’s my second-favorite alum of USA Network’s Suits, the possessor of an alliterative name that kinda, sorta sounds like the name of a women’s hosiery brand sold only at Macy’s and the new fiancee of Prince Harry. Gina Torres, of course. I sincerely believe they actually called the show Suits because of a pitch meeting…
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A Line-by-Line Response to the New York Times’ Response to the Backlash It Received for Publishing a Nazi Puff Piece
On Nov. 25, the New York Times published “A Voice of Hate in America’s Heartland”—a piece about the wedding registry, eating habits and eyebrow maintenance of an Ohio man who also happens to be a Nazi. This profile bothered quite a few people, who were somewhat annoyed that the country’s biggest and most important newspaper…
