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Why You Should Stop Addressing and Referring to Women as ‘Females,’ Explained … Again
Cam Newton is a peculiarly attired star quarterback for the Carolina Panthers. Yes. The best way to describe Cam’s attire is that he dresses like he’s from the future and the ancient past at the same time. It’s like Blade Runner meets Caligula. It’s really quite fascinating. During a media session yesterday, he was asked…
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10 Not-Racist-at-All Things White People Do That Make Me Think ‘Yup, He’s Probably Racist’
“Staying alive” is probably my favorite hobby. It’s fun and exciting and exhilarating, and it literally keeps my heart rate up. And as a black man in America, a great and efficient way of finding time and space to partake in my favorite pastime is by avoiding unnecessary interactions with raccoons, undercooked chickens, shitty barbers,…
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Never Forget That Y’all’s Bum-Ass President Threw Paper Towels at Puerto Ricans and Didn’t Even Buy Bounty
Although pictures can say thousands—and sometimes millions—of words, when I saw the image yesterday of the president of the United States of America tossing paper towels at storm-ravaged citizens of Puerto Rico days after lobbing insults at San Juan’s mayor and calling them (in separate tweets) lazy and entitled and unworthy of aid because they’re…
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The Cop Suing James Blake for Defamation After Racially Profiling and Assaulting Him Is the Whitest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Yesterday evening, my not-quite-2-year-old daughter asked for a piece of spicy shrimp that I was eating. I knew she wouldn’t like it, so I shook my head and told her, “Trust me, little baby person, you won’t like this.” Unconvinced, she continued to ask—and for context, her asking is just her looking at me and…
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How Many (White) People Have to Die Before America Gives a Damn About Its Gun Problem?
At the time of writing, the death toll from the Las Vegas terrorist attack stands at 58—a number that will undoubtedly rise as the day continues and may continue to rise for the following week(s). These people and several hundred others were allegedly shot by 64-year-old Stephen Paddock as he took position on the 32nd…
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I’m Scared to Death I Won’t Be Able to Protect My 2-Year-Old Daughter From Her Own Country
Full disclosure: The headline is a lie. My daughter isn’t actually 2 years old yet. She’ll be 2 next month. But I remember, before she was born, making fun of parents who’d tell you their child’s age in months instead of years. And then I became one of those parents. So today, this is me…
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Everyone Is Stupid. When Did Everyone Get So Stupid? Has Everyone Always Been This Stupid?
Ray Lewis dresses like a guilty man. This is what immediately came to mind yesterday as I was reading that the Baltimore Ravens have had to hire extra security for the statue of Lewis outside of M&T Bank Stadium. Lewis, of course, knelt during the national anthem before Baltimore’s game in London—an act that was…
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Pittsburgh-Area Fire Chief Resigns After Calling Mike Tomlin the N-Word on Facebook, Blames His Racism on … the Media?
If reincarnation is real, I hope that I come back as a cheetah or a jaguar or some other fast and sexy jungle cat after I die. I already enjoy yawning, taking long naps and watching Animal Planet, so I imagine the transition wouldn’t be too stark. If I cannot be one of those things,…
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W.Va. High School Taunts Inner-City Pittsburgh High School Football Team With ‘Trump Perry’ Sign
Perry Traditional Academy is a predominantly black high school, located on Pittsburgh’s North Side and a five- to seven-minute drive away from my house. My brother-in-law graduated from there last year. (He was also a first-team All-City basketball player. He can’t beat me yet, but he is pretty good.) On Friday, Perry traveled to Wellsburg,…
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Dotard in Chief Calls the Mothers of Peaceful NFL Protesters ‘Bitches’
In an unhinged rant while stumping for Republican Sen. Luther Strange of Alabama, Darth Cheeto went Full Darth Cheeto (again) and blamed the NFL’s declining ratings on protesting and … penalties, called for protesting NFL players to be fired, and asked the crowd if they’d “love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody…
