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No One Told Me That Getting Older Meant That You Literally Just Keep Aging Until You Die!
In the last three weeks, I’ve flown to Los Angeles for an event with The Glow Up; to Durham, N.C., for a wedding; and to Austin, Texas, to speak at the University of Texas. Which means that because Pittsburgh is Pittsburgh, and apparently the only place to which our airport has direct flights is McKeesport,…
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I’ve Never Met Anyone As ‘Black’ as Michael Rapaport Tries to Be
Full disclosure: I’m black. I also come from a large black family, grew up in the hood, taught in the hood, watched, like, 27 different movies about the hood and even married someone who is literally from the projects. Of course, when attempting to determine my “grade of blackness,” none of this matters, because grades…
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I Don’t Trust White People in ‘Black’ Spaces. I Don’t Call the Cops on Them, but Perhaps I Should
Back when I was a high school English teacher, I had a white female colleague (“Katie”) who not only dated black men but was also one of those white women who exclusively date black men and let everyone know that they only date black men whatever chance they get. Example: “Hey, were you able to download…
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Dear White People: Please Stop Doing Silly Racist Shit. Discovering New Things to Boycott Is Exhausting
As is the case with many people who work remotely, I spend a considerable amount of time in coffee shops and cafés. I am in one now, actually, and I am currently eating Brussels spouts because they’re healthy and tasty and because the managers at said shop are so impressed with my luscious beard that…
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10 Common (and Dumb) Criticisms of Beyoncé That Are Actually Compliments
Beyoncé is, currently, everything. She hasn’t always been, and perhaps won’t always be, but right now, one of the only essential truths in pop culture is that Beyoncé is bigger and better than everybody else. If she is not your favorite, she is better than your favorite, and she is (likely) your favorite’s favorite. You,…
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Uncles, Ranked
199,783. Uncle Tom 199,354. Scar, from The Lion King 18. Uncle Sam 17. Uncle Ruckus 16. Uncle Remus 15. Uncle Ben (rice) 14. Uncle Murda 13. Uncle Scrooge 12. Uncle Ben (Spider-Man) 11. Uncle Grandpa 10. Uncle Luke 9. Uncle Drew 8. Uncle Buck 7. Uncle Jesse 6. Uncle Snoop 5. Uncle Junior 4. Uncle…
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A List of Things I’d Rather See Taylor Swift Cover Than Earth, Wind & Fire’s ‘September’
1. An in-ground swimming pool with a weatherproof tarp. 2. Her mouth. 3. The ESPYs as a special correspondent for C-SPAN. 4. A chicken breast with a generous helping of Old Bay. 5. Her shoulders with a sweater if she was out somewhere and it got a bit colder than she expected it to be…
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Does Tristan Thompson Have More Side Chicks or Post Moves? (An Investigation)
Here are the facts. Tristan Thompson plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers. At the moment, he is the third-best Canadian in the NBA, a fact that doesn’t mean anything, but somehow also means everything. He is also a new dad today (congrats!) after his girlfriend Khloé Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl. This is Kardashian’s…
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Why We Don’t Trust White People’s Potato Salad, Explained
Are you going to ask a question? Because right now you’re just stating facts. Which I appreciate—yay, facts! I just want to know if there’s a question there. Ah. Well, before I answer, I want us all to take some time to watch and appreciate that skit again. Also, just to let you know that…
