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‘Calling the Police’ Is White People’s AppleCare for Black People
You’d think learning that Sarah Braasch—the woman who called the police on Yale graduate student Lolade Siyonbola for #NappingWhileBlack—is a philosophy Ph.D. candidate who’s studied gender and law would add something to this story. A surprise, perhaps, that a person who has undoubtedly encountered lessons on unconscious bias and systemic oppression would be so transparently…
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If You’re Still Mad That People Didn’t Want You in High School, I Get It, but Please (for Your Own Sake) Get Over It
If you happened to be a teenager in 1996, and if you were a teenager who also happened to be black, there is a moderate to strong likelihood that you have a soft spot in your heart for the Ghost Town DJs. If this describes you and you heard Virgo Williams’ 18-word-long a cappella soothe…
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A List of the Fucks I Give About the Snitch-Ass Police Dogs That’ll Be Unemployed if Marijuana Is Legalized
1. Zero fucks 2. Nil fucks 3. Nan fucks 4. Zot fucks 5. Zip fucks 6. Nada fucks 7. Void fucks 8. Zilch fucks 9. Squat fucks 10. A negative fuck 11. A fuck that exists on an event horizon, which means it doesn’t really exist, at least not with the properties that we’ve come…
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Making Donald Glover the ‘Anti-Kanye’ Is Gross and Wrong and Will Backfire, so Please Don’t
I spent Saturday evening in a room full of black people, celebrating the birthday of a friend and the genius possessed by two people who were not in that room: LeBron James and Donald Glover. The first part of our night was devoted to the second half of the Cleveland Cavaliers game, and as we…
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How to Speak in Front of Large Groups of People When You’re an Introvert and It Terrifies You
It’s been nine (!!!) years now since I was invited to serve as a panelist for Paul Carrick Brunson’s Modern Day Matchmaker live event in Washington, D.C., which means it’s been nine years since the first time I spoke in front of a large audience. And also it’s been nine years since I was so…
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A List of All the Fake Shit I’ve Bought (or Convinced My Parents to Buy for Me) to Be More Cool
Wearing them felt like I was wearing a tiny shoebox. I even bought a Superman shirt specifically to wear with it, and I’d walk around the city with my chest out while pretending I wasn’t rocking colorful plywood on my feet. It was all good until the strap disintegrated on me while I was standing…
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20 Questions About Avengers: Infinity War From a Guy Who Just Watched It and Still Might Be Very Confused
(Sidenote: There are spoilers here. Like, literally all of the spoilers.) 1. Why Thanos’ chin like that? 2. Speaking of Thanos, did that nigga really throw a whole-ass moon at Iron Man? 3. How the fuck can you beat someone who throws whole-ass moons at niggas’ grills? 4. How were Spider-Man and Iron Man—who are…
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Kanye Ain’t the Only Black Person Believing and Spreading Anti-Black Nonsense About Slavery
Kanye West is a cornball with low information and high-fructose corn syrup, but what he’s saying about slavery being a choice soaks in the same implicit anti-blackness as “They wouldn’t have been able to keep me in chains.” Or “I wasn’t built to be a slave.” Or “Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors…
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You Can’t Love and Support R. Kelly and Also Love Black Women and Children
For 24 years now (24!), R. Kelly’s behavior has been as essential to his place in the zeitgeist as his music. He married Aaliyah in 1994, which also happened to be my freshman year of high school. The infamous tape was leaked and distributed in 2002, when I was in college. Dave Chappelle’s “Piss on…
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Kanye West Doesn’t Care About Black People
Last year Panama Jackson, a man who, in the 14 years that we’ve known each other, has become one of my best friends, published a piece about his mother’s support of Donald Trump, and revealed how that ruined his relationship with her. Deciding to write this was very difficult for him; we had countless email,…
