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Mural Depicts Dallas Cowboys' Dak Prescott in 'The Sunken Place' for Anti Protest Comments
Although Michael Jordan’s “Republicans buy sneakers too” (a statement he might not have actually said) is oft-cited as a juxtaposition to the very public activism from many contemporary athletes, he was definitely not the only star of the ‘90s finding oxygen and endorsements behind the both sides shield. Where a person like former Chicago Bulls…
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Just Remember That Your Punk-Ass President Would Never, Ever, Ever Call LeBron James Dumb to His Face
We have known, since we’ve known who Donald Trump is, that Donald Trump is a racist. Perhaps his name hasn’t always been associated with racism, but racism has always been attached to the Donald Trump package, like an IKEA refrigerator equipped with a complimentary ice maker. We know, for instance, that he was sued decades…
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The 10 Worst Sentences From Andrew Sullivan's 'When Racism Is Fit to Print,' Ranked From 'STFU Andy' to 'Does He Have a Concussion?'
Andrew Sullivan has been saying dumb things about race and racism on TV and the Internet for as long as I’ve known who Andrew Sullivan is. I’m convinced he’s able to do this because he’s British and has an admittedly nice beard—which makes people assume his words are 30 percent smarter than they actually are.…
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Why It's Dumb (and Vaguely Republican) to Be Mad About Blake Griffin's Child Support Payments, Explained [Updated]
Updated: Friday, August 3, 2018, 6:05 p.m. EDT: According to TMZ Sports, the oft-reported $258,000 a month child support payment is actually $32,000. If you’re still upset about this relatively small figure, you need to take a spa day or something. Blake Griffin is a power forward for the Detroit Pistons who exists in that…
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Intentionally Bad Tippers Are Trash People You Should Never Trust, and There Are No Exceptions to This Rule
One of the most underrated parts of a) adulthood and b) being an adult with an occupation that allows for some flexibility on where I’m able to work is that I don’t have to spend much time around people I don’t fuck with. No asshole 11th grader I have to catch the school bus with each…
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Somehow, Donald Trump Keeps Finding Groups of Thirsty, Shameless and Silly Church Negroes to Meet With Him
If I am ever lucky enough to meet God, of the myriad questions I plan to ask Him (most, btw, involve lactose intolerance), one of the more pressing will be: Where exactly is the bottomless pit containing the endless cadre of thirsty, feckless, shameless, stupid and silly niggas willing to meet with Donald Trump located?…
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Nothing Reminds You That You're Black in White America Like Trying to Buy a House
Five weeks ago, moments after landing back in Pittsburgh after a two-day long trip to Chicago, I switched off airplane mode, checked my phone, and saw a transcribed voicemail from my mortgage consultant, asking me to call him back. We were 11 days away from closing. The loan and the interest rate had already been…
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Polite White People Are (Still) Useless
Earlier today, the New York Times published a piece where Margaret Renkl, a very nice white lady, instructed other very nice white ladies and gentlemen on how to be nicer to their racist brethren. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, Self, how can I be more magnanimous to racists?, “How to Talk to a Racist”…
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Things Black People Say When You Might Be About to Catch Those Hands But You're Not Quite Sure
If the “Aiight. Bet” is accompanied by a lack of eye contact and a slight head nod—and not a shy lack of eye contact but eyes that are clearly focused on something else—run. Don’t ask questions. Don’t wait for clarification. Just run. Same. Same, again. Thus ends the famed and dreaded “Aiight Foursome.” The irony…
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A List of Things La Croix Tastes Like
1. Puddle water with a severance package 2. How Steve Bannon looks 3. Listening to Rita Ora 4. Being open-hand slapped with an almost-ripe banana 5. Gnat pussy 6. A read receipt 7. An ambitious saltine 8. A sincere effort to make colonoscopy prep more tolerable 9. One of those burps that occurs after you’ve…
