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How to Fix Will Smith’s Career
I know, I know, I know. You don’t have to say anything. I realize that writing a piece about “fixing” Will Smith’s career implies that there’s something wrong with Will Smith’s career. And I also realize how ridiculous it is to imply that anything is wrong with Will Smith’s career. I cannot think of anyone—no,…
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Why I Will Never Spank My Daughter
I’m typing these words in fear, my fingers softly brushing the keys on my laptop so I don’t make too much sound. I’m also eating my breakfast quickly, furiously, madly and quietly, like a prisoner in solitary just given a pack of saltines. I’m shoeless because my Tims make too much noise on the hardwood…
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Dear #AllLivesMatter Crew: Dr. King Would Have Thought You Were A Dickhead Too
There’s a scene at the end of Malcolm X where, during a lesson about Malcolm X from their teacher (who I just like 15 seconds ago realized was Mary Alice), Harlem schoolchildren repeat the refrain “I am Malcolm X!” The scene then shifts to a classroom in Soweto (taught by Nelson Mandela) where a group…
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Some Idiot Wrote A Couple Weeks Ago That Kanye West Might Suck At Music Now. Ha!
13 days ago, VSB allowed a quasi-hipster and anti-Black feckless idiot space here to write a piece where he questioned whether Kanye West sucked at music now. Included in this self-important and insufferable motherfucker’s hackneyed screed was an imbecilic comparison of 2016 Kanye West to 1993 Tim Hardaway — a connection only a truly analog nigga wanting everyone…
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Exactly How Black Was President Obama's Final State Of The Union Address?
Last night, President Barack Obama began the farewell tour of his presidency with his final State of the Union address. It’s already been established that he’s shrouded in a cloak of no fucks; his fuck-drained cape flapping in the wind as he breezes past for one final lap. And, by virtue of being the first…
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That $1.3 Billion Powerball Meme Went Viral Because People Suck At Reading (And Math Too. But Mostly Reading.)
Unless you’ve been in the same mile-deep, vault-doored, and warhead fortified Alaskan bunker Blair Walsh has (hopefully) secluded himself in since Sunday evening, you’ve undoubtedly seen the viral meme stating that if you divided the $1.3 billion Powerball prize with the 300 million people currently living in America, you’d be able to give everyone the equivalent…
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How Black-ish Became the Blackest and Best Comedy on TV
Last week The Root contributor Demetria Lucas D’Oyley wrote a response to Tyler Perry’s recent assertion that the reason his work and his characters get so much criticism is that they’re “fat.” In her piece, Lucas D’Oyley (rightly) stated that the weight of his characters has nothing to do with how Perry’s work is perceived.…
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Why I Kinda, Sorta Hate It When Black People Call Other Black People “King” And “Queen”
It would probably be more accurate if you started saying “teacher” or “bridge builder” or “salmon farmer” instead.
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Chicken Soup For The Fuck-Less Soul: 10 Great Books For Those Who Give No Fucks
As President Obama is proving by the day, giving no fucks can be a liberating, freeing, and refreshing experience. In fact, if you don’t feel liberated, free, and refreshed at the end of your journey to Nofucksville, you just might be in the wrong city. Perhaps you took a wrong exit and ended up in…
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Black Women Should Be Like Ayesha Curry? How Many Black Men Are Willing to Be Like Steph?
It’s been roughly a month since Ayesha Curry—wife of NBA superstar Stephen Curry and mother of NBA post-game press conference superstar Riley Curry—published the tweet that would launch a million more tweets, a thousand more think pieces and a hundred more “clever” memes incorporating “thoughts” and “thots.” The dust and debris left by this dustup…
