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The Way We Talk When We Talk About Athletes Is Dumb As Fuck. Understandable, But Dumb As Fuck
For many good and obvious reasons, Michael Jordan is considered the gold standard for contemporary athletes. His career and his success and his level of sustained greatness are the benchmarks other dominant athletes are judged by; in fact, it’s considered an honor to even be included in the same conversation. (And, occasionally, an insult to…
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Beyonce Is The New Black: The 10 Blackest Moments In Beyonce's "Formation" Video
In 2014, Surrey NanoSystems, a tech company in England, debuted VantaBlack — a substance they claim is the Blackest Black ever seen. “The coating reflects so little light, three dimensions seem to disappear.” said Ben Jensen, founder of Surrey NanoSystems, in an interview with the New York Times. “When you look at Vantablack on some wrinkled aluminum foil,…
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I’m a Grown Man, but I Still Don’t Cuss in Front of My Dad
I remember the first time it happened. I was in sixth grade. It was my second week at St. Barts, a private Catholic school in Penn Hills, a suburb of Pittsburgh. My parents took me out of the city schools and sent me there because of its academic record and its athletic reputation. Actually, that’s…
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Fresh Prince Characters Other Than Will, Ranked, From Least To Most Important
7. Little Nicky Like The Godfather III, my early aughts affinity for Von Dutch, and the entire state of Delaware, it’s better for everyone to just act as if Little Nicky never actually existed. 6. Ashley As an adult, I’ve come to realize that Ashley was much, much, much more important to me — a…
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How to Protect Yourself From the Flood of White Tears That’ll Come if the Panthers Win the Super Bowl
In the book of Genesis, God—apparently fed up with humans for acting like … humans—decided to start humanity from scratch by flooding the entire earth. Which proves, again, that God is truly the alpha and the omega of everything. Including being petty. Humanity eventually recovered from this flood—thanks in large part to Noah, who was…
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Five Things People Need To Stop Saying When Police Dogs Are Killed
Last weekend, 37-year-old Bruce Kelley Jr and his father were drinking alcohol in a gazebo on the busway in Wilkinsburg, a suburb of Pittsburgh. Police officers noticed they were drinking from open containers, and asked them to stop. Words were exchanged, and a fight ensued between the officers and the drunk men. Kelley Sr was…
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Why A Man Enjoying A Woman's Finger In His Butt Doesn't Make Him Gay (NTTAWWT), Explained
Who is Amber Rose? Ex-girlfriend of Kanye West, ex-wife of Wiz Khalifa, social media soul destroyer, and perhaps the most famous Cape Verdean alive today. Really? Yes, really. If we ever decided to honor and recognize a Cape Verdean-American history month, kids would be required to do Amber Rose book reports and school projects. She’d basically…
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Why Is Every Black Church Pastor Also Good At Singing? A Black History Month Mystery
Recently, the Wife Person and I have started attending a new church. Actually, “started attending” is a misnomer. We’ve been there exactly twice — once because of an invitation from friends, and once a couple of weeks after that — which is exactly twice more than we’ve been to our home church in the last six months. Our attendance…
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4 Theories on Why Kanye Is Still So Obsessed With Amber Rose
Wednesday afternoon, Kanye West went Peak Kanye with his hourlong rant of consciousness directed at Wiz Khalifa, where he insulted Khalifa’s music and his status as a rapper while also giving Khalifa what seemed to be genuinely sincere compliments. Kanye West is a weird duck. Unfortunately, Kanye didn’t stop there, as he felt the need…
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I'm In Love With Black People Who Love Being Black People. And Love Black People
It’s not terribly uncommon for me to write and/or publish a piece that deals with race — whether its a satirical quiz about a certain strain of regressive pro-Blackness or a piece from one of our writers about a reality show featuring women not quite sure if they’re Black — and receive feedback that either questions…
