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Trump Isn’t Just Bullying Schools Into Reopening in the Fall, He’s Now Threatening to Withhold Funding If They Don’t [Updated]
I play this game with my 10-month-old daughter in which I put my hands over her eyes and then pull them away, and for that second that her eyes are covered, she really believes that I’ve disappeared. That’s been the president’s plan for the coronavirus—the Thanos of viruses, the 1996 Suge Knight of Death Row…
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Trump’s Consumer Watchdog Just Approved Predatory Lending, Again
The greatest president to ever set his Stacy Adams inside the Oval Office did something monumental during his time in office. Former President Barack Obama changed payday loans to make it so that the lenders had to be sure the borrower could actually repay the loan. Meaning, the lender couldn’t just give cash to any…
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Trump’s Niece Confirms It: The President Is a Neglected Child Who Has Always Been a Liar
President Trump’s niece Mary L. Trump is doing the Lord’s work by single-handedly exposing him for being the petulant child we all know and hate. According to big news sites that have received copies of Mary Trump’s tell-all book, Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man (The Root…
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The Cakewalk: Cops, My Mental Condition and the Tradition of Police Brutality
It started with a piece of strawberry cake. During my years after high school, some of my good friends, who would later become family, opened a Caribbean restaurant on H Street N.E. in D.C. It was really a takeout place with a few places to sit, but for many of us, it was a second…
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Tucker Carlson Claims Combat Veteran Tammy Duckworth Doesn’t Love America and She Claps Back: ‘Walk a Mile in My Legs’
You may disagree with Illinois Sen. Tammy Duckworth’s policy. You may not even like the fact that she’s bold and outspoken, but what you won’t ever do in the history of ever is come for Duckworth’s patriotism. For some reason, white nationalists’ favorite whiny-voiced crisis talk show host Tucker Carlson decided that he was going…
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When Boredom Hits an Old Racist: Trump Hate Tweets About Bubba Wallace and NASCAR’s Ban on Confederate Flag
What is a racist to do when he doesn’t have any news to throw gasoline on the racist fire he keeps lit? Well, bring up some old news, that’s what. On Monday, the president of people whose biggest burden in life is feeling muzzled by a hospital-grade mask decided that life was moving along a…
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Trump Big Mad at Black Lives Matter, Calls NYC Fifth Avenue Mural a ‘Symbol of Hate’
President Trump started his Wednesday morning the way he normally does. He woke from his sleeping coffin, pulled South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham from his woven cot and began punching him in his ball gag until his knuckles turned pink. He then walked into the presidential kitchen in which he stepped on the backs of…
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Fla. Governor Continues to be a Goddamn Idiot, Has No Plans to Do Anything as COVID-19 Cases Continue to Rise
Have you ever heard the story of how Florida was created? It all started with a chicken sandwich. God hadn’t quite built up his body to handle all of the grease from the Popeyes crunchy chicken offerings and well, he started to get a bit sick. Finally, after sweating and grabbing his stomach, God leaned…
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Trump Is Willing to Defund Real Soldiers to Protect Statues of Racist Generals
President Donald Trump, the man voted most likely to rub soft carrots all over his flaccid body, has weaponized Twitter once again by threatening to veto a national defense bill if an amendment from Sen. Elizabeth Warren (It should’ve been you and not Joe Biden!) demanding that military bases honoring the losers that are the…
