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Eric Trump Is the Dumbest Trump. Tiffany Trump: Hold My Bud Light Lime-A-Rita
Before polling began, America would have assumed that Eric Trump was the dumbest Trump. But a new poll from “Fuck these kids” has found that Tiffany Trump is surging in Southern states and places where white people wear shorts all year round despite the weather. Like the human embodiment of pajama pants with some suggestive…
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Trump Stopped a Top Secret Intelligence Briefing to Order a Milkshake
Maybe the president of people who know what the hell malts are was just trying to bring the Proud Boys to the yard when he halted a highly classified briefing about Afghanistan to invite a waiter into the proceedings to order a milkshake. According to Politico, shortly after the president of people who make boxed…
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Former White House National Security Adviser: Trump ‘Will Not Leave Graciously’ If He Loses 2020 Election
Former White House National Security Adviser John Bolton, brother of Michael and Ramsey, claims that the orange walrus in the White House won’t leave quietly if he loses the upcoming presidential election. Bolton told CNN’s Jake Tapper that the mishandling of the coronavirus pandemic is proof that Trump doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing…
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Trump Bashes Dr. Fauci During Campaign Call: 'He’s a Disaster and an Idiot'
President Trumprona Virus opened his anus-shaped mouth to bash the nation’s top infectious-disease expert, Dr. Anthony Fauci, claiming that he and the rest of the scientists working to stop the spread of the coronavirus are all “idiots.” “People are tired of COVID. I have these huge rallies. People are saying whatever. Just leave us alone.…
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How President Trump Went to Church and Became Every Broke Man at the Strip Club
There aren’t many times where I can say that President Trump and I share anything in common. In fact, there aren’t any. Not one. Then, President Trump went to the International Church of Las Vegas on Sunday, and he looked just as uncomfortable as most men do when they walk into the strip club sober.…
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White House Warned That Rudy Giuliani Was Target of Russia Misinformation Campaign, and Trump Just Jordan Shrugged
Turns out that America isn’t the only country that’s aware of how fucking stupid Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani is. According to a scathing report in the Washington Post, Russia also knows of Rudy’s inability to comprehend basic addition, so he was targeted as a way to push misinformation to Trump, and he didn’t know…
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The Coronavirus Got Chris Christie Shooketh: I Was Wrong. I Should’ve Worn a Mask
Former New Jersey governor and the Cake Boss’ before photo, Chris Christie, revealed that he went from feeling perfectly healthy to being admitted to the intensive care unit in less than a day after contracting the coronavirus. Now that he’s on the mend, he’s admitting to being a complete asshole and warning Americans to take…
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QAnon Supporter? Osama Bin Laden Is Still Alive? How Trump Stole the Battle of the Town Halls but Not the Voters
President Trump knows how to make good TV. While he might be delusional in just about every aspect of his presidency, he’s not lying when he boasts that his Apprentice ratings were sky high. The president understands one thing that has always worked in his favor: crazy sells. And last night was no different. Instead…
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Trump’s Personal Lawyer Rudy Giuliani Continues to Be Racist AF as New Video Shows Him Mocking Asians
President Trump is taking down everyone on his way (hopefully) out of the White House. Those aligned with him or noticeably silent (looking at you, Republican Party) have proven themselves complicit in all of the fuckery coming out of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Truthfully, Trump didn’t have to do much to knock Rudy Giuliani down a…
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Obama: Trump Was a Fan Who Became a Hater
Our forever president until further notice confirmed that the president of white supremacy, Donald Trump, led the racist “birther” movement in 2011 for masturbatory purposes, which is, he got off on the attention it gave him. During an interview with Pod Save America, Obama claimed that Trump was a fan of his early on in…
