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Trump Wants to Posthumously Pardon Muhammad Ali, Who Rolled Over in His Grave so the President Could Kiss His Ass
Not sure if Donald Trump believes that all deceased black boxers need pardoning or if he just likes pardoning things, but during his nearly 18-minute rant on the White House lawn Friday before heading off to embarrass America once again on the global stage at the G-7 summit, the president floated the idea of pardoning…
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Terrell Owens Could Be on MTV’s The Challenge, but He Can’t Go to His Own Hall of Fame Induction
No one tells Terrell Owens what to do. Part of that is what made him one of the most polarizing wide receivers in the NFL, and the other part of that is why he isn’t going to his own Hall of Fame induction ceremony, even though he participated in arguably MTV’s worst show, The Challenge.…
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The Patriotic President From Patriotism-ville Doesn’t Know the Words to ‘God Bless America’
If this were a movie, you would have walked out of the theater by now. On Tuesday, after President Donald Trump disinvited the champion Philadelphia Eagles to the White House and threw an all-wypipo party instead, he was caught mumbling the lyrics to “God Bless America.” Seriously, after all of his patriotic bullshit, not to…
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Black GOP Senate Candidate Believes That Slave Descendants Are Better Off in America
Bishop E.W. Jackson (pronounced Bishop Ewwwwww) is a black man in Virginia who’s running for the Republican nomination for the Senate. Stop me if you know where this is going. During an interview about his long-shot chance of actually winning a Senate seat in the South as a Republican, Jackson did his best to appease…
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Colin Kaepernick’s Lawyer: Somebody Is Ready to Snitch on the NFL
The attorney for currently unemployed NFL stars and former San Francisco 49ers Colin Kaepernick and Eric Reid dropped a bomb Wednesday on CNN when he hinted that a witness in their collusion case against the powerful football league was ready to drop dime with concrete evidence proving that NFL owners conspired to keep both men…
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North Korea Won’t Give Up Nuclear Weapons, but It’s Willing to Build a Fast-Food Joint in Honor of Trump: Report
In what might be arguably the weirdest story to come out of the Trump administration, it turns out that North Korea has no intention of giving up nuclear weapons, but it will consider adding a Western-style burger joint in Pyongyang as a show of good faith. Umm, the fuck? How are these two things even…
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Booing Rudy Giuliani During Yankees Game Was the Wrong Play; He’s Really a Spy for the Resistance
New York is a liberal state, and it has been for quite some time. I’m not including all the racist parts upstate where black people don’t travel—only the five boroughs of New York City and other parts that are accessible by subway. So on the surface, it makes sense that Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump’s…
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The White House Is Really Trying to Drive Home This ‘Immigrants Are Animals’ Agenda With New Report
The White House wants desperately to craft this ideology that violent brown criminals are “animals.” Administration officials are pushing this so much, they recently released a blog on the official WhiteHouse.gov website titled, “What You Need to Know About the Violent Animals of MS-13.” There will be people who will point out that Donald Trump’s…
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#StayWoke: Trump’s Team Hired Firm to Suppress the Black Vote: Report
On Wednesday, Cambridge Analytica whistleblower Christopher Wylie told the Senate that President Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign—more specifically, former chief strategist Steve Bannon—hired the firm with the intention of using data to “discourage or demobilize certain types of people from voting,” The Hill reports. You read the above paragraph correctly. But let’s run it again…
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Trump Didn’t Know the Difference Between HIV and HPV, so Bill Gates Explained It to Him—Twice
At this point it might be better for everyone to keep a running list of things that President Donald Trump does know. So far my list contains racism, lying, paying for sex, Russian prostitutes, KFC, punching his staff, lying, xenophobia and lying. In newly revealed footage, the embarrassment of the entire United States showed just…