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5 Journalists Were Killed and Sen. Marco Rubio Is More Concerned About Their Colleague Dropping the F-Bomb
Every time Sen. Marco Rubio opens his mouth or takes his hands from around the president’s pants leg to send out a tweet, he inches closer to front-runner in the race for the most horrible Republican. Less than 24 hours after five of her colleagues were gunned down in a heartless act of senseless violence,…
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NFL Cornerback Janoris Jenkins’ Brother a ‘Person of Interest’ After Body Found in Jenkins’ New Jersey Home
Law enforcement officials are looking to speak with the older brother of New York Giants cornerback Janoris Jenkins after a dead body was found inside the football player’s New Jersey home Tuesday. According to TMZ Sports, Jenkins’ brother William is a “person of interest.” Ontario County, N.Y., District Attorney James Ritts told the sports site…
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Hack ‘Journalist’ Files Assault Charges Against Maxine Waters
Laura Loomer, a hack journalist who calls herself an “investigative journalist” and lives off of donations from Donald Trump supporters who pad her PayPal, has filed assault charges against Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.). Video of the incident shows Loomer confronting Waters as she’s walking the halls of Congress. When Loomer reveals that she is a…
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Paul Ryan Forgets That He’s Garbage, Calls on Maxine Waters to Apologize
Speaker of the House, and spineless lackey, Paul Ryan had the audacity to speak against black America’s favorite aunt, Maxine Waters, claiming that she needs to apologize for calling for the continued harassment of members of the Trump administration whenever they are in public. Lackey Ryan took a break from holding on to President Donald…
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Was That Boston Celtics Great Kevin McHale at a Trump Rally? Don’t Know, but His Wife Is Totally Trump Crazy
I’m not sure if it was Boston Celtics fans or their archnemeses, Los Angeles Lakers fans, but somehow, some way, somebody spotted someone who looked exactly like legendary Celtics power forward and NBA Hall of Famer Kevin McHale in the sea of whiteness that was President Donald Trump’s rally in Duluth, Minn., on Wednesday. And…
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An Exclusive Interview With the American Flag; You Know, the One the President Keeps Stroking
In what has arguably been one of Donald Trump’s weirdest (and whitest) moves, the president took the stage before the National Federation of Independent Business in Washington, D.C., made a speech, and once he was done bumping his gums, proceeded to hug the U.S. flag using the same hugging technique he reserves for his true…
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Washington State Football Coach Tweets Fake Obama Video and Then Proves His Ignorance by Arguing About It
Mike Leach is the head coach of the Washington State football team. He also proved himself to be a fucking idiot after he tweeted out an obviously fake, conspiracy theorist video of former President Barack Obama under the guise of civil conversation: According to SB Nation, the video was spliced together from a European Union…
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Trump Saluted a North Korean General, but Let’s Keep Talking About Kneeling NFL Players
During his visit with brutal North Korean dictator—and wearer of one of the tightest Asian-man high-top fades, Kim Jong Un—President NuNu von SherbetSkin saluted a uniformed North Korean military officer because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. According to the Daily Beast, after Donald Trump shook Kim Jong Un’s hand, the president then…
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Wait, Rudy Giuliani Was Once Married to His Cousin? That Explains Everything
Giuliani’s first marriage was annulled because he was, in fact, married to his cousin.
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Stormy Daniels’ Lawyer Michael Avenatti Wanted Evidence of Rudy Giuliani’s Porn Habits. Looks Like He Found It
The lawyer beef started sometime last week after the president’s newest counsel, Rudy Giuliani, went on a sex-worker-bashing tirade in an attempt to defame Stormy Daniels’ alleged affair with President Donald Trump in 2006. “I don’t believe Stormy Daniels. … The business you were in entitles you to no degree of giving your credibility any…