• Serena Williams Didn’t Mean to Tell the World She Was Pregnant

    Serena Williams had every intention of sharing her pregnancy with the public—just not as soon as she did. The story goes like this: Williams had been chronicling her pregnancy with personal photos when she accidentally pressed the wrong button and sent one of those photos out on Snapchat. It was a photo of Williams with…

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  • Massive Layoffs at ESPN; 100 on-Air Employees to Get Axe

    ESPN has announced that it is expecting to cut more than 100 on-air employees. It had been widely reported that cuts were looming for the sports giant. Initial news reports had speculated that only some 40-50 folks would be searching for new jobs, but the actual news is much more grim. All of the 100…

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  • TrumPutin Has His Tiny Finger on the Button … the Soda Button

    It’s good to know that when President Twitter Fingers isn’t trolling countries on social media, he’s got his tiny orange finger on the button … the soda button, that is. That’s right—the orange man who eats ketchup on his steaks and KFC with a knife and fork is so addicted to Coke that on his…

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  • #MAGA: Ivanka Trump’s Clothing Made in Low-Pay Chinese Factory

    An audit of the factory that produces Ivanka Trump’s, aka Lil’ Trumpet’s, horrible clothing line of basics and cruisewear casuals shows that workers labored some 60 hours a week for a measly $62 a week—and I want to see her doe-eye her way out of this one. Remember all that “Make America great again” bullshit?…

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  • Here’s What Kobe Bryant’s Been Up to Since Retiring

    *Love Jones finger snaps*

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  • Former Detroit Piston Guard Isiah Thomas’ Son Zeke Reveals He Was Raped 

    Zeke Thomas, son of legendary NBA Hall of Fame guard Isiah Thomas, is speaking out against sexual assault and has revealed that he was raped—twice. “At first I didn’t realize what had happened, what had transpired. I knew that it was wrong, I knew that I did not want it. I did not seek it…

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  • Michael Flynn Was Out Here Dropping It for the Russians 

    The House Oversight Committee is confirming what many of us have suspected: that this Remy Ma-second-diss-record-ass administration consists of a bunch of Russian operatives disguised as Americans liars. Remember Michael T. Flynn? He was only with this Nissan Sentra-ass administration for about a good Easter weekend before it was learned that he was on Russia’s…

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  • Ivanka Trump Grilled and Booed During Women’s Event

    Ivanka Trump, aka Lil’ Trumpet, is so annoying. She’s really annoying, and it isn’t one thing she’s doing; it’s everything—from straddling the line between being a business owner of cruisewear casuals and being the daughter of President Vladimir TrumPutin to being at every meeting, including the ones that benefit her business interests. Thankfully, the good…

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  • President Pee-Pee Talks Urine With an Astronaut

    President Pee-Pee really needs to stop playing shy. During a video conference with NASA astronauts aboard the International Space Station on Monday, the president—yes the man who allegedly had Russian prostitutes urinate all over a bed that former President Barack Obama had slept in—got all squeamish after learning that the astronauts clean their urine for…

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  • Toronto Raptors Playoff T-Shirts for Fans Are the Worst

    Our Canadian friends to the north do a lot of things well. They are friendly and have universal health care and some kind of weird gravy that they put on their fries. But they could use all the help when it comes to making free T-shirts for their fans during the playoffs. On Monday the…

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