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‘I’m Not Steve Bannon, I’m Not Trying to Suck My Own Cock’: How Scaramucci Mane Is Becoming the New Honey Badger
There is a very easy deplorables test that one can take at home, and it goes like this: If you feel bad for the new White House communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, aka Scaramucci Mane, or anyone one who has been inside the Oval Office in the past five months, then you probably are a deplorable.…
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‘I Can Tell You 2 Fish That Don’t Stink’: How Anthony Scaramucci Is Bringing Mob Talk to the White House
White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci, aka Scaramucci Mane, is a proud Italian American who at times sounds a lot like Ray Liotta from Goodfellas. I think this is not only purposeful but also plays into a stereotypical belief about tough Italian men—and I think Scaramucci likes it this way. Let’s remember that Scaramucci Mane…
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Hillary Clinton’s Memoir Is Out in September, so We’ve Decided to Help Her With a Few Title Suggestions
Hillary Clinton is set to release a memoir about how she lost the 2016 presidential election to a reality-television show huckster who paints his face orange. In her new book What Happened, scheduled for release in September, Clinton is expected to loosen a few of the buttons on the jacket of her pantsuit and show…
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What Happened to Trump’s Favorite Blacks?
During his run to the White House, President Donald Trump seemed to have an endless supply of African-American supporters whom he could rush out to sing his praises. There was the B.A.P.S-like duo of Diamond and Silk and the greasy-headed preacher Darrell Scott. And there was 2017’s real-life Stephen from Django: Milwaukee County Sheriff David…
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I Know Trump Didn’t Just Donate His Salary to the Education Department After Proposing a $9,000,000,000 Cut
At this point, I wonder if President Donald von Douche Face even knows what’s in the budgets he proposes, or if Papa Bannon just hands them to him and tells him to initial here and here. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that the president of “people who love deer jerky” know that…
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8th-Grader Gets Football Scholarship Offers From University of Ala., Ole Miss and Miss. State
Jaheim Oatis just graduated from the seventh grade. Jaheim Oatis is 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 286 pounds. Jaheim Oatis is a baby and a beast who happens to be shaped like a grown man. And big football powerhouses want in. According to a tweet posted Friday by the 14-year-old, the University of…
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Who Is Da Real Lambo, and Why Is He Threatening LeBron James?
I like to think I keep my finger on the pulse. Currently, I’m eating Migos Rap Snacks while wearing a Supreme Obama anorak with matching pants and listening to French Montana’s “Unforgettable” featuring Swae Lee. So it’s safe to say I’m plugged in, but I don’t know who the hell Da Real Lambo is, so…
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Trump Used Twitter to Announce Ban Against Transgender People Serving in the Military Because He’s an Asshole
The president of racist, xenophobic, homophobic and transphobic America just announced on social media that he will be banning all transgender people from serving in the military because he’s actively trying to unseat Adolf Hilter as the most hated person in history. Also, because Donald Trump is a dirtbag, he made the announcement, which will…
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Football Has an Even Bigger Concussion Problem: Nearly All Donated Brains From Deceased NFL Players Had CTE
Out of 202 brains of deceased football players studied, CTE was diagnosed in 177 of them, a number that includes NFL, college and even high school athletes. According to the Associated Press, “It’s the largest update on chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE, a brain disease linked with repeated head blows.” While the nearly 90 percent…
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LeBron James Wants to Beat Kyrie Irving’s Ass: Report
OK, now this is really getting good. According to sources who spoke with the always yelling Stephen A. Smith, King James—the lead singer of King James and the Jamettes by way of the Cleveland Cavaliers—wants to beat current but soon-to-be-former teammate point guard Kyrie Irving’s ass. Don’t believe me? Here’s audio of Smith’s loud-talking ass…
Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude
