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Donald Trump Jr.’s Wife Is Leaving Because He’s Cheaper Than a Pair of Plastic Sandals From CVS: Report
This whole administration feels like a bad stand-up-comedy set. Donald Trump Jr. is so cheap … Come on, y’all: “How cheap is he?” He’s so cheap, his wife, Vanessa, is divorcing him because he “treats her like a second-class citizen” and kept his purse strings so tightly pulled that she had to ask her mother…
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Trump Forced Senior Staff to Sign Strict Nondisclosure Agreements Because He Thinks He’s Beyoncé
On the new Dj Khaled song “Top Off,” Beyoncé—who has the best verse on this song and makes it listenable despite being accompanied by her husband and Future—raps, “If they’re tryna party with the queen, they gon’ have to sign a nondisclosure.” It could’ve been a shot at comedian Tiffany Haddish, who publicly told of…
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Donald Trump Jr. Was Awkwardly Sliding Into Former Model’s DMs Long Before His Marriage Collapsed
White-people flirting is just … um … different. Somehow, Donald Trump Jr. decided to hop in a model’s DMs after she joked about pulling a muscle while changing a tampon. If that wasn’t TMI, his response was to ask the woman if she smelled bacon. Yep, I officially just vomited all over my computer, and…
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Jim Carrey Captures Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ Inner Demon in Portrait and the ‘MAGA’ Crowd Isn’t Happy
Funnyman Jim Carrey is actually a really deep dude who meditates and paints. On Saturday, Carrey released a portrait of a woman who favors White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. Somehow, Carrey was able to capture Suckabee’s true inner-demon spirit. It’s almost impossible to truly capture the vile and hideous energy that…
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Mad Petty: Trump Fires FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, Screwing Him Out of His Pension Days Before He Could Retire
Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe only needed to make it until Sunday to reach his 50th birthday and a chance for an early retirement and his pension. But President Donald Trump, who has proved to be the pettiest of bitches, commanded his personal top cop, Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions, to fire McCabe. Sessions waited…
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O.J. Simpson Agrees With Trump on Colin Kaepernick’s Protest, but I’m Going to Need O.J. to STFU About Everything Black-Related
Unless O.J. Simpson wants to talk about running a football in the ’70s, or how he handled himself in prison, or how he fooled everyone into thinking he was black during the trial of the century, I’m going to need him to shut the fuck up about the work that Colin Kaepernick is doing. Currently,…
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Watch: Hillary Clinton Shuts Down the Possibility of a Possible Ivanka Trump Presidency
Since Hillary Clinton has nothing left to lose, she is giving it to the American public straight, no chaser. Clinton isn’t running for president anymore; in fact. she’s probably just going to continue speaking out against President Donald Trump, whether he’s in office or not. Clinton’s plans, once Trump leaves office, are to sit outside…
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#StayWoke: Did Russia Have Business With the NRA?
A longtime attorney for the National Rifle Association (NRA) is set to speak with the Democrats on the House Intelligence Committee over concerns that the controversial gun organization helped funnel Russian money to then presidential hopeful Donald Trump during his 2016 run for the White House. According to McClatchy, Cleta Mitchell—a former NRA board member…
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It’s Official: The White House Is a Flaming-Hot Dumpster Fire That Shows No Signs of Cooling Down
The White House has been trash since the pristine Obamas left it to a KFC-eating mass of bagged afterbirth. Since he took office, the White House has been reshuffling the staff like it was dealt a hand with no spades. To date, the Trump administration has lost over a dozen notable members. Earlier this week,…
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White House Opioid-Crisis Plan to Include Death Penalty for Drug Dealers: Report
The White House is proving that when it comes to drugs destroying white communities, there are no limits to what it is willing to do to stop the threat, including death: to the dealers, not the users. Because the White House is completely invested in solving the opioid epidemic, which disproportionately affects white people, it…
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