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You Scared? Trump's Tweeting Fast and Furious as Redacted Russia Probe to be Released Thursday
Like a rapper that knows an explosive diss track is about to be released, the president of the United States is playing reduced-stress checkers—in which they’re only six pieces on the board to prevent confusion (but he still cheats)—by releasing tweets that will help his followers know his position on the soon-to-be-released Russian investigation report…
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Come on Nancy Pelosi, Not Like This: Speaker of the House the Latest to Try and Come for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Nancy Pelosi is old-school backroom politics. Remember how she finessed the Speaker of the House position by cutting all kinds of deals with Democrats who initially wanted new blood up against Donald Trump and the White Walkers? So the levels of shade she keeps throwing toward Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, makes her look nervous and like…
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I’m Not Black, I’m Tiger
On Sunday, Tiger Woods won the Masters. Big fucking deal. I mean I know it’s historic and a major comeback and he got a green jacket and all that, but let’s be clear about this: Tiger Woods don’t fuck with us. He never has, so me going all ape shit and posting celebratory Tiger photos…
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Rep. Ilhan Omar: ‘I Have Experienced an Increase in Direct Threats on My Life’ Since Trump’s 9/11 Video Lie
In almost every area of politics, President Donald Trump is out of his league. In fact, he’s not even in the ballpark when it comes to everything outside of putting his Diet Coke on his Oval Office desk without a coaster. But there is one area where the president surpasses all of those before him:…
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Illinois Senate Issues An Ultimatum to Trump: Release Your Tax Returns or You Won't Be on the 2020 Ballot
The Illinois Senate has put its foot down strong in the paint. On Thursday, the Democratic-led Senate proposed a deal that anti-Trump fans can get behind—either Trump releases five years’ worth of his personal income tax returns so they can see how many rubles he received from Russian oligarchs or he won’t appear on the…
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Julian Assange Kicked Out Embassy for Smearing Feces on the Wall, Bad Hygiene and Skateboarding Indoors: Report
I guess Julian Assange, the WikiLeaks founder, forgot that he was a houseguest while living inside the Ecuadorian Embassy in London and didn’t realize that he could only smear the walls with feces in the home where he pays rent. Apparently, Assange is a really shitty houseguest. See what I did there? According to Vice…
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We Need to Talk About President Trump's Sister Maryanne
Trump has a sister. (Who knew?) Her name is Maryanne Trump Barry. Imagine Trump wearing a powdered wig combed back with a puff on top, and you’d have Maryanne. She used to be a federal appellate judge, then all of sudden, she retired. I’m sure that retirement had nothing to do with a judicial investigation…
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Trump Administration Wanted to Release Detained Immigrants to Sanctuary Cities to Target Those Who Opposed the President's Border Wall: Report
Because the Trump administration takes its cues from The Walking Dead and thus believes that immigrants crossing the border are akin to zombies, a new report reveals that Trump officials tried to pressure the Department of Homeland Security into releasing walkers detained immigrants into sanctuary cities as retaliation against those who opposed the president’s plan…
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Former Migrant Baby Stealer Kirstjen Nielsen’s Colleagues Think She’s ‘Completely and Totally Unhirable’
Former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, thief of migrant children, is going to have a tough time finding a new job because she was the head of the migrant baby stealing program and people outside the Trump administration don’t like baby stealing! According to the Atlantic, folks close to Nielsen say that in normal situations…
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Lawyer Michael Avenatti Indicted on 36 Charges, Including Embezzling Settlement Money From a Paraplegic
Michael Avenatti at one point was looking like a young Jon Snow, posed to take down the Trump administration. And now he’s out here looking like Ramsay Bolton. A federal grand jury in California has indicted the former attorney for Stormy Daniels on 36 counts, including embezzling from a paraplegic client, court documents released Thursday…





