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Trump Is Trash, So of Course, He'd Still Accept Political Dirt on Foes From Foreign Governments
Trump just can’t stop stepping in it. If there were signs all over the White House pointing out where not to step, Trump would still step in it. If “it” were lying on a rug with a flashing, neon, talking billboard that played on repeat for Trump not to step here, Trump would lace up…
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Government Watchdog Wants Kellyanne Conway Fired, but Conway Wants That Smoke: 'Let Me Know When the Jail Sentence Starts'
Kellyanne Conway is a federal employee. As White House counselor, she is basically a well-paid executive branch federal employee, but a federal employee, nonetheless. So, as a White Walker affirmative-action hire, she isn’t supposed to be bashing Democratic presidential candidates. On Thursday, the Office of Special Counsel informed the White House that because Conway can’t…
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White House Fills Director of African-American Outreach Left Vacant After Omarosa's Abrupt Departure
Omarosa Manigault Newman Foster Brown Phyllis Hyman left the White House the way that she’s left every house in her life; amid flames and all kinds of rumors. She was the head of Trump’s African American Outreach until she was fired in 2017, but the post had been vacant since because, truthfully, who can fill…
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Trump Is Obsessed With the 'I-Word'—and No, the 'I' Doesn't Stand for Idiot
President Trump knows that the Democrats are split on whether or not to start impeachment proceedings, and while he’s reportedly convinced he won’t be impeached because, in his words, he’s done nothing wrong, that hasn’t stopped him from becoming fixated with the idea, both good and bad, of impeachment. He’s even come up with a…
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GOP Big Mad After Lawmaker Reads Letter on House Floor Calling Trump Supporters ‘Racist’ and ‘Just Plain Dumb’
So I do this thing with my wife where I say how I feel by claiming someone else said it. Example: Some would argue that my cooking is better than yours. Or: I’ve had plenty of people come to me to congratulate me on how I folded the bed sheets. I learned this from…
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Trump Just Held Up a Folded Piece of Paper Claiming It's the Deal With Mexico
I’m a great uncle. As such, I’ve used every tactic in the uncle handbook to bribe my nieces into doing something they don’t want to do. Whom amongst us hasn’t faked like they’ve got Disney World tickets in their pockets to get the little ones to eat their Brussels sprouts? Well, President Trump was in…
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Alabama Governor Signs Bill Requiring 'Chemical Castration' for Some Sex Offenders
Alabama is continuing its ascension to the weirdest state in the country, coming in a close second to Florida, as the governor signed legislation Monday that would require some sex offenders to be chemically castrated before parole. According to the Associated Press, Gov. Kay Ivey—the same governor that signed a near total abortion ban into…
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'Tiger Mom' Amy Chua Defended Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Now, Her Daughter Is Going to be His Law Clerk
Yale Law School professor and self-proclaimed “tiger mom” Amy Chua didn’t just publicly defend Justice Brett Kavanaugh during his sexual assault allegations, calling him a “mentor of young women,” she wrote a whole ass op-ed in defense of the “I Liked Beer. I Still Like Beer” Supreme Court judge. Well, what do you know?! Looks…
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New Poll Shows That Black Voters Favor Former Vice President Joe Biden in 2020
A new poll has shown what we all feared—fine, maybe it’s just me—but black folks, at least the ones polled, have declared that Vice President Joe Biden is the frontrunner out of all the Destiny’s Child members that make up the Democratic nominees vying to become president. Some “seventy-six percent of African American Democrats who…
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President Trump Told Aides to Lie About Internal Polling Data That Showed Him Trailing Joe Biden
President Donald Trump is a lot like the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wiz as he too doesn’t like bad news: The difference, of course, is that the Wicked Witch of the West just didn’t want people to bring her bad news; the Wicked Witch of the White House wants his staff to…
