A Twitter Thread Wants to Know If You Have What It Takes to be Beyoncé’s Assistant

Some lovely Twitter user by the name of Green Chyna gave me one of my most stressful hours on Sunday when they created a quiz titled, “Being Beyoncé’s assistant for the day: DONT GET FIRED THREAD.”

Never in my life have I ever cared for a job I knew I wasn’t going to get. In this thread, you are tasked with answering several questions that will either appease the King of Music or have your ass straight in the unemployment line. I went through each question and placed careful thought in all of my answers, thus it took me 45-plus minutes to complete this Twitter assignment.

This is a “choose your own adventure” type of game, and with every click, you pray that the “odds are ever in your favor.”

I believe a trickle of sweat fell betwixt my brows, as I knew one wrong move could land me in the “somebody’s getting fired” category. I panicked as if my termination would bring dishonor upon my house and my standom of this artist. What would I choose for her breakfast? Which child would I FaceTime? Am I putting fresh paint on the walls or nah?! All these questions raised my blood pressure to levels I didn’t know Twitter could accomplish. This was The Devil Wears Prada on steroids.

I made it to the end without getting terminated, and to me, this is a resume-worthy skill. At the very least, I should place this in my Twitter bio so I can bask in the fact that I’m prone to making smart life choices when it comes to Beyoncé.