9 Songs That Are Basically Beyoncé Songs...For Dudes

Illustration for article titled 9 Songs That Are Basically Beyoncé Songs...For Dudes
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Even if you are not a fan of Beyoncé—I don’t understand how this is a real thing, but do yo’ thang—you have to admit that Mrs. Knowles-Carter has some jams. If she never makes another record, she will always have a wedding, revival and club jam in “Single Ladies,” and her catalog is full of dance floor bangers that have turned dance floors into “yassss” echo chambers. She has a song for every occasion really. Let’s say you are utilizing a free version of some creative app that has an option for an upgrade. I mean, is there a better time for customer service to call and play “Upgrade U” over the phone? I think not.


And don’t even get me started on the self-esteem jams “Me, Myself and I” (and Peggy!) and “Irreplaceable.” At this point in life when it’s time to turn left, I always say “to the left to the left.”

Here’s the thing, while Beyoncé doesn’t NOT make songs for dudes to jam to, she doesn’t make songs for dudes not to jam to, either. I mean, I dance when I hear music and I’m a fan and I love her songs (usually) so I can find a way to enjoy them, but she ain’t every dude’s ministry.

At the same time, there are definitely songs that elicit what could be considered a Beyoncé-song like reaction. This is not a list of Beyoncé songs that dudes might enjoy, this is a list of songs that get the male reaction of how women respond when they hear the opening of “Single Ladies.”

Here is a quick list of 9 jams that are basically Beyoncé songs...for dudes.

(Admittedly, this list will be for an older bunch of dudes; I’m 41, I have no idea what 25 year old Beyonce-dude songs are.)

1. M.O.P. “Ante Up”

I mean, don’t you just feel like robbing somebody when you hear “Ante Up”? I know I do. Of course, you plan on returning the property. I even instinctively start reaching for my real Timbs, not that Burlington boot stuff you know who was rocking. Also, I heard this on a Questlove Supreme some time ago (I wish I could remember on what episode) and nodded my head in agreement so hard I almost broke my neck because it’s true and because I’ve been trying to convince the homies of this for years.


2. Jay Z “U Don’t Know”

Every time I’ve been in a club or not-a-club and this joint comes on, the vast majority of the homies start talking that drug talk like we’re all drug dealers, or at least were in a former life. We all start yelling at the ceiling about how came into this motherfucke 100 grand stong—9 to be exact.


3. Rick Ross “B.M.F.”

I’ve never confused myself for Big Meech. Or Larry Hoover, for that matter. And yet, when this song comes on (well came on, it rarely gets burn now) all the dudes were talking that shit.


4. Foxx, Lil Webbie and Boosie “Wipe Me Down”

You know, you can argue that Black men are big fans of hip hop education since we tend to love so many songs where folks either spell or do math problems in songs. Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes. Every dude you know is doing the moves. And if they’re not, they’re fighting the urge to do so in hopes of maintaining cool points. Some men forget women tend to like a man who dances.


5. Lil Wayne “A Milli”

This song is waaaaaay longer than it feels like, which is probably why I don’t think I’ve ever listened to the whole thing, but that intro is guaranteed to get the brosephs looking around at everything and nothing in particular. One dude is guaranteed to give you the screwface.


6. 2Pac “Ambitionz Az a Ridah”

I’m a pretty affable guy, which is to say I don’t have a ton of enemies. As soon as this intro comes on I hate everybody and I’m ready to ride. It’s my ambition, ya know. As a ridah.


7. Rick Ross “Hustlin’”

This song came out forever ago and yet, if it comes on I am willing to be a solid bunch of niggas nearing too old to be wherever we are will yell out, “who the fuck you think you fuckin’ with I’m the fuckin’ BOSS…”


8. Bobby Shmurda “Hot Nigga”

I mean, have you heard this song? It still fuckin’ goes and well, every dude loves yelling “A WEEK AGO.” I don’t know why, maybe it’s all slavery’s fault. Either way, we did all that shit about A WEEK AGO.


9. Jim Jones “We Fly High (Ballin’)”

Yep. Still. Let’s us all live out our hoop dreams and show everybody around our basketball form. Immediate reaction jam.


What other songs are Beyonce songs for dudes?

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.



I never thought about Ante Up that way but it makes so damn sense.
I feel myself walking to the closet to pull out my scuffed up black AF1s every time it plays. I start talking that crazy stick talk and doing gun hands in my car like I don’t work a desk job and go to brunch