Beyoncé is our reigning pop queen. And considering the success of Lemonade, the visual album that aired on HBO, it's a given that her wardrobe, her hair and makeup, and her imagery will be studied and imitated for the rest of the year. There is nothing wrong with this. Well, there's nothing wrong with most of it.
I expect that there will be many women “getting in formation” over the next few months. I look forward to the pictures of you and your girls with the hashtag #SquadGoals, the YouTube videos of your cover tributes and all of your yellow dresses.
But before you get carried away asking yourself, “What would Beyoncé do?” I ask you to pause and take a moment. There are some things that she got away with in Lemonade that you should think twice about before trying at home:
1. Busting the windows out of his car.
When Beyoncé discovers that her lover is cheating, she's understandably mad. She goes all Angela Bassett from Waiting to Exhale, but instead of setting her man's car on fire, she goes on a window-busting spree through the local neighborhood.
You're mad; I get it. You want to express your anger somehow. If you do it on his property or anyone else's, you should be arrested. Because that is crazy. And illegal. (There's a hilarious video from comedian Jay'La Milan who demonstrates how busting her ex's car window plays out in real life.)
2. Waist-length micro-braids.
They're beautiful. Gorgeous, really. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't get them for the summer. I am saying that you should think about what that level of beauty requires—around $300 (at least) and a day (at least), maybe two, in your local braider's chair. And don't forget the entire day, maybe two, you will spend taking your micro-braids out one weekend. Also, your edges might not make it. Proceed with caution.
Beyoncé appears in a bra top and leggings by Yeezy, flaunting her underboob. It's her fired-up song, and Bey moves around with exaggerated gestures to describe her anger. Somehow her boob never slips out, at least not in the footage aired. Understand, that scene required reams of industrial-grade sticky tape and still had the benefit of many camera takes and quality edits to keep Yoncé from flashing the girls. Even with the best tape money can buy, you won't have editors (or wardrobe assistants) when you try underboob in real life.
If you have enough breast to create underboob, your boobs, even if perky, will eventually fall out. Blame gravity.
4. Promises you don't keep.
Approaching the final stage of this infidelity as entertainment drama, Yoncé sings how "every promise doesn't work out." In short, she said she didn't want her man anymore but had a change of heart. Fair enough.
However, in my advice column, I hear from women daily who tell men to leave and the man stays gone. They write in wondering why he didn't try to make things work. Well, you said it was over and he listened to you. Isn't that what you wanted? If you tell him to leave, he might try to come back, but he also might not.
5. Underwater photos.
Bey jumps from a building and lands in a body of water. She looks beautiful. You will not look this way underwater. You will look strained from holding your breath for the many, many shots that it will take to get the "perfect one" you can share on Instagram.
I'm also concerned about your phone and your camera. Remember when we were teenagers and Sony released those CD players that you could take underwater? And you tried it and your CD player never worked the same, or worked at all, after?
Even if you get a protective cover, I don't want this to be you as an adult. I also don't want you prancing in the water with your phone or camera in its protective cover, and a wave comes that knocks you over and your protected electronic device out of your hand. Take a great photo on dry land, put an underwater filter on it and post. Then get in the water … if you can swim.
Demetria Lucas D’Oyley is a contributing editor at The Root, a life coach and the author of Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love as well as A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She is also a blogger at SeeSomeWorld.com, where she covers pop culture and travel. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.