30 Milestones by Age 30: The Black Woman's Version

Essence's Janelle Harris says that the list of musts for black women is a little different from the standard one that's been circulating on the internet. Hers includes a favorite hair product and "peace about being different." Suggested Reading Flint’s Water Crisis Ends With A Major Development Songs by White Artists You Can Add to…

Essence's Janelle Harris says that the list of musts for black women is a little different from the standard one that's been circulating on the internet. Hers includes a favorite hair product and "peace about being different."

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For Black women, I think the standard is different. Not that we donโ€™t have expectations and goals and heartโ€™s desires to chase after, and not that we shouldnโ€™t have certain things checked off the olโ€™ timeline when we reach that milestone age, but White women operate under a completely different reality than we do en masse. So all of the earmarks of success that usually fall so easily into place for them in their 20s โ€” houses, husbands, booming careers, financial security โ€” arenโ€™t necessarily givens for Black women by the age of 30 โ€ฆ

1. A song that immediately lifts her spirits or takes her back to a special, stress-free time, no matter where she is

2. A polite, diplomatic way of putting someone in check and a taste of sister girl attitude when diplomacy just wonโ€™t cut it

3. A favorite moisturizer, a favorite hair product and a favorite recipe in case she has to cook something impressive (or a favorite bakery or restaurant to pick it up from)

4. A tool set, a car jack and a refusal to be anybodyโ€™s damsel in distress

5. The willingness and resolve to let it go, whatever โ€œitโ€ is

6. Spiritual grounding and a prayer and meditation war closet to sneak off to when life hands her chaos

7. A signature dance and a motivational saying

8. A hot pick-up line โ€” you know, in case she ever needs or wants to use it

Read Janelle Harris' entire list at Essence.

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