11 Low-Key Hilarious Things Only Black People Do

Black people have so many common traits, behaviors and habits that it almost seems like some things are exclusive to us.

We’re talking about stuff beyond the cultural pillars of fashion and food. Social media has helped us realize that people who grew up in African American families and neighborhoods have not had a single unique experience - from being ordered to clean your bedroom when company was coming (despite them not having dinner in your room?) to the paralyzing fear of realizing you forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer so mom could cook dinner.

There are plenty more anecdotes that makes us go, “You know... Black people...” in both a comical and SMH way. Check out these 11 examples:

The toxic trait running rampant in the Black community is that our ears have grown accustomed to the occasional chirp of a smoke detector instead of taking initiative one day to change the battery or clean it.

Not only is it poor etiquette but it’s also taboo to place your purse on the floor. Let my grandmother tell it, you’ll put that purse down and pick it up with no money in it.

If it isn’t the smell of bleach lingering through the house, the way you know not to make any more mess or dirty any more dishes in the kitchen is when that stove light is on.

You ever seen a group of Black people scatter suddenly? No, they may not have been fleeing in terror. They were probably just laughing. Black folks use their whole body and soul when they laugh from toppling over on one another to a short sprint. You’ll also notice a distinct type of laugh - my personal favorite is the Windex bottle cackle. It’s too contagious not to laugh with them.

As a victim of having their room turned into the designated kids room at every dinner or cookout... this one hits home. After a while, the kitchen and living room become atmospheres exclusive to “grown folks business” and one-by-one the youngin’s get sent to another room. It either turns into a mini daycare or a core cousin memory in the making.

There is rarely a true “apology” from Black parents after they fuss you out unnecessarily. At most, you’ll get one of them standing in the doorway of your room donning a somewhat somber look telling you dinner is ready or asking if you’re hungry. That, of course, only comes after being told to fix your face or your attitude. Take what you can get.

“You can’t eat from everybody kitchen,” said nearly every Black person ever. Don’t bother inviting us to a potluck at work or your house. We are quite particular about cleanliness and the quality of food. If we eat your baked ziti to find out later you let your cat Crip walk across the kitchen counters, there will be problems.

Every time a Black person announces they’re leaving the function, make sure to add an extra 35 minutes onto that. They forgot to hug somebody. They got caught up in a whole new conversation. Inching closer to the door doesn’t guarantee they’ll actually make an exit. Just wait in the car.

Define “light.” Fried chicken, mac n cheese, green beans and cornbread are not light refreshments. That is the perfect cocktail to send someone into the itis. However, after a good church service, those to-go plates hit the spot.

Only a Black person will look at someone else wearing an extra layer of clothing and accuse them of changing the temperature in the room. You could be perfectly comfortable in your hoodie but for some reason, be ordered to remove it for the sake of someone else suddenly bursting into a hot flash from looking at you.

You see that? Costco. What is Costco’s? Burger Kings? JCPennys? I’m guilty of that last example. Sometimes that extra “s” just makes the word roll off the tongue better but for the sake of grammar, we must admit we are wrong. Will we change? Probably not.