Dear Black men — I’m calling a family meeting, right here and right now, because there’s an issue that’s gotten way out of hand. There’s a word circulating throughout the community that we as Black women are beyond tired of… and it’s time we address it. While the common — yet infuriating — term “female” may sound harmless on the surface, in practice it’s dismissive, reductive, and even dehumanizing when used to describe us. We’ve voiced this before, but it seems our frustration has fallen on deaf ears.
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And don’t get us started on the gaslighting: “Well, aren’t you a female?” The answer? Yes, we are — but that’s not all we are. It’s time we retire this word, and unpack why it’s offensive and does more harm than good.
The Problem With “Female”
Off rip, the truth is, outside the fact that it’s just flat-out incorrect — both grammatically and socially — it sounds crazy in casual conversation.
“Female” is a biological sex classification used across species. In animals, plants, and even some fungi, it refers to organisms or reproductive structures that produce ova or ovule-bearing organs. In other words, dogs can be female, cats can be female, and many plants have female parts — which is exactly why using the term to describe a human woman feels both incomplete and dismissive. If you didn’t know, there’s a word for an adult human female — and it’s “woman.” (Cue applause.)
Similarly, men understand that saying “male” in casual conversation would be strange, which is exactly why they don’t do it.
What’s The Big Deal With Just Saying “Woman?”
I have to get this out while I have your attention: what’s the big deal with just saying “woman?”
It’s not to say that others — including some women — haven’t used the term, but in comparison, it seems a large group of Black men have almost erased “woman” from their vocabulary entirely in favor of the word “female,” as if acknowledging us as women somehow threatens their manhood.
Is the proper word too fancy? Too respectful? Or overly cautious? Those against the bizarre lingo can’t wrap their minds around why someone would hesitate to call adult females women. But maybe those who prefer “female” should ask themselves why that may be.
It’s Not About Biology, It’s About Respect
Just say “woman” already.
The fact that men almost never refer to each other as “males” makes it abundantly clear that this isn’t about accuracy. It exposes a deeper discomfort with acknowledging women as full people, deserving the same dignity and respect they automatically extend to themselves, without question.
Learning to honor each other with the words we choose is a simple step toward mutual respect. It shows that you see us fully, recognize our humanity, and value our personhood — and that respect only strengthens relationships, builds trust, and brings us closer together. Try it out — I promise, you’ll survive.
Straight From 
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