Why Black Men’s Obsession With ‘High-Yellow’ Women Hides a Much Deeper Problem

Black men, let’s have a conversation that’s been a long time coming. There is an issue that has been ignored in the Black community for generations that has recently reared its ugly head. We need to talk about colorism. Specifically, we need to talk about how this impacts us as men.

The Instagram account “Ice Cream Convos” recently posted videos discussing singer Mario’s dating history, pointing out that he seems to not be interested in Black women romantically. And if the women he dates are indeed Black, they sure don’t look like it. In other words, dude seems to have been bitten by the colorism bug.

Then there’s Chris Brown, a.k.a Fake Michael Jackson, who has a history of making statements about his dating preferences that sounds very similar to something Albert from the Color Purple would agree with. But recently, a video went viral of Brown bringing Kayla Nicole — a “light-skinned brown girl,” as she described herself —on stage during one of his performances. Some saw this moment as Brown trying to publicly push back against years of allegations of colorism.

But soon after, a woman posted a video saying that she and many other dark-skinned women were denied VIP access at a Breezy Bowl XX tour concert, while women whose skin was lighter than a brown paper bag were given wristbands.

Both men have tried to throw rocks and hide their hands, here. Mario denied the accusation that he is engaging in colorism and said that Black women are “loved and needed.” That was a significantly more thoughtful response that Chris Brown gave.

In response to the allegations that he was engaged in colorist behavior, Brown acted like a petulant child. He went on Instagram and said, “Miss me with the colorist rage baiting.” He then deactivated his account, stating, “I’m going to take a break from social media y’all done pissed me off long enough.”

We can point the finger at Mario and Chris Brown, but they are not alone. It is undeniable that many Black men are given to viewing Black women through the lens of colorism. How many times are light skinned Black women given immediate attention when they walk into a room while darker skinned women are not treated the same way?

There have been more than a few discussions online about Black men preferring to go “exotic” when they date. That is not to say that some of these women are not Black, but they are almost always mixed with a different ethnicity.

And though he is often irritating, Dr. Umar John is on to something when he discusses the preference that Black men have for fair skinned women. He is right when he says, “dark skinned women are not in short supply; we are simply overlooking them.”

It’s not just Chris Brown and Mario. They are easy targets because of their fame. There are more than a few men in our community who think like they do. They may not go on social media and post about it. But if you look at who we choose to date and marry,  it is clear there is a preference for women whose skin is as light as snow and whose hair blows in the wind.

Black men, we are right to point out the racially problematic behavior of our president. We are also right to demand that the police stop killing us in the streets. (Yes, they are still doing that.) But we must also look in the mirror and come to terms with how we have internalized racial messaging about skin color.

It’s not just white folks who can engage in racist behavior. We must be honest about the fact that we do it too.