Very Smart Brothas
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I Want To Take The Great American Roadtrip Through The Heartland, But I'm Scared Because I'm, You Know, Black
On the last day of fourth grade, when the final bell rang, we all came roaring out of the front door of the school as you do when you’re nine years old and it’s the last day of school. Out into the sunlight with that feel for freedom that you haven’t felt since your very…
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Game Of Thrones Recap: Season 7, Episode 1 "Dragonstone"
It’s been a year and three weeks since we last checked in with our favorite cast of casualties. And it seems George R.R. Martin and his homeboys, the showrunners, are bullshitting yet again. I expected an episode packed with misadventure, fighting and fuckery- especially with that cold open. Instead, we watched…exposition. A lot of exposition.…
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They Came, They Saw, And They Conquered Umar Johnson's Hotepalooza In Brooklyn
Two weeks ago, Dr. Umar Johnson had an event in Brooklyn, where the Prince of GhostedGoFundMe was scheduled to give a talk, sign some books, and share beard maintenance tips. (He does have a pretty impressive beard.) Three brave people volunteered as tributes, to attend and report back on their findings. Here are their stories.…
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I Played Basketball Yesterday And Now My Nipples Are Really Sore And If This Is What Getting Old Means Fuck This Shit
I am not one of those adult-aged people who complains about adulting and other things adult-aged people are expected to do as adult-aged people. Because no one wants to hear that shit. Yes, going to work every day is hard and shit. But work is hard for everyone. Saying you hate work because its hard is…
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What A Stint In Rehab Taught Me About White People's Feelings About Black People's Pain
Every time I read about or see a news story on the opioid epidemic, I greet it with a resounding “So what?” It’s an admittedly vindictive stance that I am in no way ashamed of. When I see that whole towns are languishing under the tyranny of the needle, I couldn’t bring myself to care…
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If You're Still An R. Kelly Fan In 2017 You Might Be A Worse Person Than R. Kelly
I’m not going to say much about R. Kelly because, at this point, on the seventeenth day of July in 2017, there’s not much I can say about R. Kelly that hasn’t already been said. And repeated. And reported on. And recounted through anecdote. And even said by me on this very space four years ago. With other artists…
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Y'all Do Realize Floyd Mayweather Is Gonna Kick Conor McGregor's Ass, Right?
The lead up to the Mayweather/McGregor fight Aug 26th has been fascinating. Two aggressively annoying and arrogant and lilliputian men — one a quasi-illiterate domestic abuser and the other either a racist or someone just fine with donning a racist’s costume (which is just as bad as a racist) — attempting to out-douche each other is…
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Why The Hell Do People Bring Dogs To Work?
Are you a dog person? I’m not. I’m also not not a dog person. I like animals. I like dogs. I’ve had cats and dogs. Animals rock. You know what doesn’t rock? Animals running amok through work hallways. But that shit has happened at my place of employment before. Somebody thought it was okay to let…