Very Smart Brothas
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There’s a Serious Hennessy Shortage in America, and It’s Actually Donald Trump’s Fault (Seriously)
Hennessy is a criminally overrated cognac. I maintain that it’s actually more fun to say “Hennessy” than it is to drink it. Because Hennessy tastes like ATM runs at 3 a.m. Hennessy tastes like puddle water and penitence. Hennessy tastes like it should be called “Omarosa.” But overrated doesn’t mean unimportant, since it exists as…
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I’m Proud of My Husband for Kneeling During the Anthem, but Don’t Make Him a White Savior
On Monday night, I walked into FirstEnergy Stadium having absolutely no clue what was going to happen during the national anthem. When it began, I saw a group of Browns players kneeling and was proud. A few moments later, I noticed that No. 87—my husband, Seth—was among them, and I was even prouder. That moment…
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Why Prerinsing Dishes Is a Dumb and Stupid Thing No One Should Ever Do, Explained
No. Dishes are trite and boring. Dishes are staff meetings and Drake’s tattoos. Dishes are the dishes of dinnerware. It’s an entire explainer about prerinsing dishes. Which is an important distinction. There were bad people … on both sides. Imagine you’re sitting on some sort of seating device, holding a plate filled with food on…
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On Being the Only Black Man for Miles (or Kilometers) in Western Canada
Full disclosure: My wife is neither black nor American. The current Mrs. Richardson is the daughter of Indian immigrants and was born and raised just outside of Vancouver in British Columbia. It’s a beautiful place, really. The Fraser Valley is the type of landscape that evenly swaps out steep hills and crested peaks for wide-open…
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A List of Places I’d Never Order Grits From
I was recently in Roanoke, Ala., and ventured to McDonald’s because my children are obsessed with chicken nuggets like most American children are. I don’t know what they put in those things, but they’re mm-mm good. Also, how have fast-food prices been the same forever? Inquiring minds would like to know. Anyway, upon reaching the…
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I Don’t Know How to Convince R. Kelly Fans That They Should Give a Shit About Black Girls
What separates R. Kelly—specifically, the support of him, the defense of him and the wagons circling around him—from most other notable moral quandaries is the lack of any sort of reasonable justification for any continued Kelly-centric advocacy or patronage. For instance, it’s no secret now that Chick-fil-A has donated considerable resources to fight against marriage…
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Ask Agatha: I Can’t Orgasm During Sex. What Should I Do?
Jillian from Atlanta asks: I’ve never had an orgasm. With a man. What I’m saying is, I’ve never had an orgasm during sexual intercourse. I’ve been in love. I’ve been in lust. I’ve been in deep like, and no matter the man, it’s never happened for me before or during the act. So, Aggie, can…
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I Want Kids, but I’m Absolutely Terrified of Having Them
When I look in the mirror or at pictures of myself these days, the first thing that catches my eye is the patch of gray hair taking residence on my chin in my beard. The patch is like the White Walker army—slowly growing in follicle count until it surrounds the dark hairs in my beard—serving…
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20 Things White People Ruined Already This Year
1. Tiki torches 2. Teacups 3. The solar eclipse 4. The Dunk King finale 5. Van Jones 6. Think pieces about Trump voters 7. Sheet cake 8. Avocados 9. Rally permits 10. Fried chicken 11. Tristan Thompson 12. Emojis 13. The name “Nkechi Amare Diallo” 14. Martin Luther King Jr. 15. Bottles of Pepsi 16.…