Very Smart Brothas
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A Letter of Thanks to My Son Who Wants to Be Luke Cage This Halloween
Dear L.J., I bought this house a few years ago because I wanted you to have what I did not: childhood memories of a place to call home, a backyard and the feeling of security that an apartment never could provide. I, however, was not ready for the responsibility of homeownership. When the toilet runs…
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10 Easy Costumes for Black People Who Aren’t Really Into Halloween Like That but Still Want to Have Fun
Requirements: A “full beard with no mustache” mask. Patchouli-marinated dashiki over some joggers and Polo boots. A white blow-up doll (your date). Absolutely, positively, no lotion. Requirements: Chinos and Sperry docksiders (if male) or whatever the fuck is in Stacey Dash’s closet (if female). Shirts, slacks and dresses limited to four colors: red, white, blue…
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I Tried Brown Sugar Cream of Wheat Yesterday and Now I Want to Fight Everyone
For the last 15 or so years, I’ve dealt with moderate to severe acid reflux. I’ve had it mostly under control—I stay away from certain foods, I exercise regularly and I try to shoehorn multiple stress relievers into my day—but for the past three months, it’s been particularly annoying. So annoying that I had an…
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The World’s Most Evil Candies, Ranked
America’s got issues right now, y’all. The citrus in chief is about to get us nuked. Racists are racisting harder than ever. Shrimp went off sale at Publix. In the words of a great Detroit poet, how the eff do we ’pose to keep peace? One word (OK, two): candy corn. For the uninitiated, candy…
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Justin Timberlake Is a White Man
My favorite scene in the surprisingly rewatchable Lethal Weapon 2 involves Detective Murtaugh (Danny Glover) going to the South African Embassy in America to inquire about taking a vacation there—a conversation that serves as an elaborate ruse so that Detective Riggs (Mel Gibson) can sneak into the building and investigate and annoy the murderous Afrikaner…
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Deon Cole’s Apology to the Black Race Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Deon Cole had something in his heart that he needed to get out. See, he came to Atlanta during Spelhouse and Clark Atlanta homecoming this past weekend (it really was, or felt like, every damn school in the metro Atlanta area’s homecoming this weekend) and came to a very stark but important realization. To quote…
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10 Most Common Statements Heard the Monday After an HBCU Homecoming Weekend
For me, the 2017 homecoming season has reached its conclusion. Samesies for several other schools that celebrated their homecoming this past weekend, like Howard, Hampton and our homecoming co-defendants at Morehouse, Spelman College. Lots of other schools will be celebrating into the next few weeks as we all reminisce on days yonder or, for current…
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How to Talk to Women if You Believe Feminism Has Made It Really Hard to Know What Counts as ‘Harassment’
The world—already hard and damp and confusing—has gotten harder, more damp and confusing as fuck for men. Not for all men, of course. (#NotForAllMenOfCourse.) But (some) men who happen to be romantically and sexually attracted to women are now paralyzed with confusion and doubt and anxiety and fear. Because they’re forced to work with, go…
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10 Ways A Different World Lied to Us About HBCU Life
If there’s one way I know that the show was a pure work of fiction, it’s that in all the seasons of A Different World, we never saw anyone having to go to the financial aid office and act a straight donkey. There are a few experiences that truly bind those of us who graduated…
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Howard University: This Is Family
What can you say about Howard University that you cannot say about other HBCUs? There are the facts—facts that make the mecca historically unique. I mean, who else can say they have the same alma mater as Thurgood Marshall and Diddy? Only Howard alum can say that. Who else can say they attend a school…