Very Smart Brothas
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10 Cringeworthy Things Every Black Person Born Between 1975 and 1985 Did in Their Teens and 20s, Ranked
10. Performed spoken-word poetry that included either aggressive enunciations of “clitoris” or a line about how “justice” ain’t “just us” because it “just ain’t for us” 9. Strongly considered selling Pre-Paid Legal 8. Either had sex with Timberlands and socks still on or had sex with someone with Timberlands and socks still on 7. Believed…
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10 Thoughts on Big K.R.I.T. and His New Album, 4eva Is a Mighty Long Time
On Oct. 27, 2017, Meridian, Miss., rapper-producer Big K.R.I.T. released his third official “studio” album, 4eva Is a Mighty Long Time (dope title), though any fan of his knows that he’s had countless other projects over the span of his career. This album is making a splash online; Facebook and Twitter have been full of…
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We Need a Reset Button or Something for White People
Do you remember Ruben Studdard? Of course you do! That was a rhetorical question! But just in case you don’t, Ruben won American Idol in 2003, back when that actually mattered, and then later that year released his first album, Soulful, which went platinum. Soulful’s most popular single was “Sorry 2004.” Which was a fucking…
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‘I Can’t Be Racist Because My Best Friend Is Black and Lives in the Condo I Own’ Is the Whitest Thing I’ve Ever Heard This Week
As a professional observer, curator, interpreter, documentarian and even occasional appreciator of blatant and reckless acts of shameless whiteness, I’ve seen and read about enough types of aggressively white behavior now to last five lifetimes. Particularly in regard to racism (anti-blackness, specifically). I’m like an old and fat NBA point guard who’s able to stay…
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Do You Shower at the Gym After Working Out, or Do You Wait Until You Get Home?
On Wednesday night I read a very, very, very early (and very, very, very explicit) excerpt from my book at the Brillobox as a part of their monthly Bridge Series. I wanted to get a workout and a sweat in before the reading (which started at 8:15 p.m.), so I went to LA Fitness at…
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Please Stop Inviting Everybody to the Damn Cookout
Look, I know blackness is the gift that keeps on giving. I know how awesome we are, and can understand why sweet potato pie tops pumpkin pie, that we effortlessly create and inform pop culture, and why folks set aside their good sense and pride to get next to us or be like us. And…
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Amazon Key Is Some, Like, Extra-White Shit
In the 16 years that I’ve lived in the Washington, D.C., area, I’ve witnessed it go from Chocolate City to Latte City. Sure, the blackness for which the city is known is still present symbolically, but ain’t nothin’ but white folks at the Brixton, living in the Ellington and hangin’ at Marvin on every other…
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55 Percent of White Americans Believe Whites Face Racial Discrimination, Which Means 55 Percent of White Americans Are Really Stupid!
As Halloween nears, I’m reminded of the time 20 or so years ago when my then-7-year-old nephew spent the entire year talking about Halloween. How much candy he was going to get, how great his costume was going to be, how many houses he was going to hit—he was an unceasing stream of Halloween-related predictions,…