Very Smart Brothas
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Ugly-Sweater Christmas Parties Are Trash and We Need to Stop Having Them
One thing I appreciate about VSB is how it provides a safe space to hate on things that other people enjoy. Take, for example, Damon Young’s total disdain for small talk or my screed on why spades at game nights should be banned. There was also the time I proclaimed that DJs should stop playing…
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A Viral Story About a Bullied White Boy and His Probably Racist, ‘MAGA’ Scamming Mom Is the Perfect Way to End 2017
Last week, Panama Jackson asked which Bad Boy song was the most quintessentially Bad Boy. Not the best or most important song from that label and that era, but the one that best encapsulated Bad Boy’s general ethos and spirit. I disagreed with his top choice (he chose “Mo Money, Mo Problems”—I would have chosen…
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This Video of White People Who Are Sticking by Roy Moore Is the Whitest and Most Insane Thing That Ever Happened This Week
I’m not going to do a minute-by-minute recap of this video. I can’t. You just have to watch it. I’m literally too flabbergasted to do so. And I don’t get flabbergasted often, but this video … good gotdamn. Watching white folks whitefolkin’ is something we’re all used to by this point, but Meek Mill could…
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Taking My Kids to See White Santa Might Be My Most Unwoke Parenting Act and I’m Sorry
Please forgive me, for I have sinned. The other night, I participated in an act of personal fraudulence and general unwokeness that has caused me great shame as a black man generally and a writer here specifically. We’ve had a good run here, you and I, over the past couple of years, sharing humorous tomes…
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The Video of the Man Saving the Rabbit From the Fire Captures Everything Wrong With Whiteness in 30 Seconds
I’m not sure it’s possible to create a viral video better than the one of the California man jumping out of his car to save a bunny rabbit from the raging wildfires. It feels too saccharine—too perfect—to even be scripted, as it contains every element necessary for social media sharing and bouts of spontaneous verklempt.…
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Um, Jagged Edge, What the Hell Was That? DC Is Not Pleased
It’s amazing how quickly something can go from awesome to WTF, but last night during the Silver Spring, Md., stop of Jagged Edge’s tour, they leveled that shit all the way up, leaving an entire crowd both dumbfounded and pissed and their Twitter mentions deservedly in shambles. I’m a JE fan. Anybody who knows me…
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Forget About Colin Kaepernick; I Think I’m Done With the NFL Just Because I Don’t Want to Watch Someone Die
In eighth grade, I was a starting wideout and cornerback for my middle school football team, the St. Bartholomew Bruins. Our team that year went undefeated and won the Pittsburgh Diocese, and our only close game that season came during the championship, which we won on a last-second touchdown caught by yours truly—a catch that…
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What Song Best Represents the ‘Bad Boy’ Era? Take That, Take That
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Booooooooooooooooy! When Puffy hit the scene with Bad Boy in 1994 and Craig Mack’s “Flava in Ya Ear,” everything changed. For the rest of the decade, backed by seminal releases and singles from Biggie, Puff, the Lox, 112, Faith, Mase and even peripheral acts like Lil’ Kim (only because she wasn’t on Bad Boy)…
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The 10 Best Brown-Liquor Christmas Songs, Ranked
The best Christmas songs are ones that can be played while sipping brown liquor. I know, I know: the birth of Christ. I love Jesus, too; still, the holiday season overlaps with cuffing season, and with all that cold weather and love in the air, you are likely to spend your time either drinking eggnog…
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Is It Safe Yet to Admit How Shocked I Am That There Are Actual Black People Who Had No Idea Meghan Markle Is (Partially) Black?
Forget about everything else. And by “everything else” I mean the conversations about what Meghan Markle’s engagement to Prince Harry means. And the conversations about what “means” means. And the conversations about whether Markle qualifies as black. And the conversations about whether that’s her choice to make. And the conversations about whether we should feel…