Very Smart Brothas
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The Golden Child Is One of the Most Awesome Terrible Movies Ever
Because God or whomever you pray to clearly has a sense of humor, The Golden Child comes on network television and cable way more often than it should. The movie, released in 1986, is the story of Chandler Jarrell, played by a super-bankable ’80s Eddie Murphy, who is dubbed the “Chosen One” to save a…
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I Quit Drinking Alcohol Years Ago, but Why Can’t I Stop Drinking Soda?
It’s been almost two months since I drank. I think about relapsing every single day. I want the chill in my hand. I want to hear the kshhh sound when you pull the tab, and then the fizz when you pour it over a frosty glass of ice. I want to taste the icy sweetness…
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Men Who Were Also ‘About to Buy NBC, Tho,’ Ranked
10. New York Knick Charles Smith, who’s still the only ball player in recorded history to get his shit punched under the rim the exact-same way four consecutive times. 9. That Kappa at the last cookout you went to who got picked last for co-ed kickball and got mad and broke all of the candy…
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Why Black Thought Doesn’t Rank As High on Rap GOAT Lists as He Should
Last week, Tariq Trotter, aka Black Thought, frontman for the Roots, tried to break the rapper-nets with a 10-minute freestyle with Funkmaster Flex over the Mobb Deep “Burn” instrumental that even had people who think Kevin Gates is the best rapper of all time impressed. Even calling his performance impressive undersells it. For my money,…
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35 Questions for the People Having Sex Underneath My Living Room Window at 1 in the Morning Last Night
I was up late last night (1 a.m.-ish) doing book stuff, sitting on one of the couches in our living room, and I heard some sounds coming from out the window. We live near a bar, a park and a YMCA that houses people, so slight noise from foot traffic after midnight isn’t that uncommon.…
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Christmas Ain’t Christmas Without My Grandma
The last time I saw my grandmother alive was at my uncle Bobby’s funeral. She looked tired. Grandma breathlessly said, “Hello,” almost unable to get out of her chair. We did our usual routine. I told her how much I missed her. How I wished I had more time to stay but had to hit…
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10 More Black-Ass Mysteries You Always Wanted to Know but Never Thought to Solve
Blackness. It’s a dynamic state of interwoven race, ethnicity and culture that’s both unifying as well as mystifying. While being a member of the black community comes with an immeasurable number of intrinsic benefits and inherent perks (see: people assuming you’re cool/people assuming you can hoop/people always asking you to make playlists for their parties),…
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Cornel West Seems to Believe Ta-Nehisi Coates Is Writing From the Sidelines, but Sidelines Don’t Exist for Black People
I’m writing this from the third floor of the brownstone in Pittsburgh’s Northside that my wife and I have been renting for a year and a half now. I’m in a bedroom that has been repurposed as both my office and my de facto closet. My daughter’s bedroom is on the same floor, and the…
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10 Reasons Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Buying the Carolina Panthers Needs to Be a Thing
So it turns out that the NFL’s Carolina Panthers franchise is about to be up for sale. The current owner, Jerry Richardson, is going to put the club up for sale after reports of several payouts being made to victims of sexual misconduct came out via Sports Illustrated. 2017 is definitely the year of getting…
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Each Time I Watch This Video of 16-Year-Old Ayrton Little Learning He Was Accepted Into Harvard, a Ghost or Something Near Me Cuts an Onion
Earlier today, I came across a video on my Facebook feed of 16-year-old Ayrton Little learning that he was accepted into Harvard University. In the video, several of his classmates are in the room with him, and they all erupt with joy when he receives some sort of confirmation on the computer he’s browsing. The…