Very Smart Brothas
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How in the Hell Are People Paying for Weddings?
Since I became engaged at the end of 2017, my household has been in constant wedding-planning mode. From creating guest lists—we possibly know way too many people—to seeking out and touring venues to general discussions about budgets, one thing has constantly kept coming up in our talks: Just how in the hell do people afford…
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Um, Cocaine Really Is a Hell of a Drug
Listen, I’ve never done cocaine in my life. I’ve never really felt compelled to do so, either. While I can’t pretend like those “This is your brain; this is your brain on drugs” commercials entirely deterred me from a life of occasional recreational drug use, cocaine—for me—has always just seemed like a bridge too far.…
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The Criticism of Jacob Copeland’s Mom Is Unfair (and a Tiny Bit Racist, Too)
The entire spectacle of national signing day is an exercise in absurdity. It’s absurd that major-conference college football is such a behemoth that the decisions made by 17- and 18-year-olds are nationally televised events with press conferences, pep rallies and parades. It’s absurd that these decisions matter enough to create (and end) jobs and shift…
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So the Cavs Just Traded Everyone Except LeBron and LeBron’s Bigen
I began writing this at 1:15 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I’m sharing this information with you just in case, in the time between literally right now as I’m typing this sentence and the time this is actually published, the Cavs also decide to trade Kevin Love, LeBron James’ barber, Tyronn Lue’s suits, a rotisserie chicken…
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Pre-K Teacher Leigh Bishop Matching Her Student’s Hairstyle Has Me All Up in My Dad Feels
The story of Leigh Bishop (recent #WCW at The Glow Up), the pre-K teacher at Lakeview Elementary School in Sugar Land, Texas, who told her student August that she loved her hairstyle and then showed up the next day wearing it, actually brought a tear to my eye. But just one. OK, both. Maybe I…
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10 Blackest Things About Kendrick Lamar and SZA’s ‘All the Stars’ Video From the Black Panther Soundtrack
1. The video is directed by Dave Meyers. And the little homies. We’re starting off strong. Real strong. 2. This actual video literally starts out with the throwing of the hands in the air and waving them like you just don’t care. Except all of those hands are a sea of blackness while Kendrick glides…
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All I Want Is to Be 84 Years Old so I Can Give Negative-Infinity Fucks Like Quincy Jones
The entire span of my 30s has been an exercise in attempting to give the fewest fucks possible. It hasn’t been easy. Fucks are sticky. Fucks are Velcro. Fucks are pieces of confetti you still occasionally find in a sweater you wore to a New Year’s Eve party in 2015. Just when you think you’re…
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Pastors With Bentleys and the Messy Psychology of Money
Black Pittsburgh Facebook was on fire yesterday because the pastor of a popular church here, Mount Ararat, seems to have recently purchased a Bentley Bentayga. A photo of the truck parked outside the church has gone Pittsburgh viral, with hundreds of people offering their thoughts on the pastor’s purchase. Here are some of mine. 1.…
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I Once Taught a College-Level Statistics Class Using Nothing but Drug References; It Was the Most Effective, Questionable Thing I’ve Done (at Least That Day)
I used to work in a summer program at a prominent university in the Washington, D.C.-area intended to get black students into the field of public policy and foreign affairs. For something like seven straight summers, I was either a resident assistant (first two years) or a teacher’s assistant (economics, statistics, policy analysis; all seven…
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The Difference Between ‘Hungry’ and ‘Thirsty,’ Explained
Thank you for the kind words! I should tell you, though, that this explainer is actually about the colloquial use of “hungry” and “thirsty,” not the standard definitions. Shit. I need to hurry with this explainer, then, because you’re gonna die soon. Anyway, in a colloquial sense, “thirsty” and “hungry” both mean the same…