Very Smart Brothas
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Betsy DeVos Is the World’s Most Useless White Woman
Of course, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is not the world’s most useless white person. That title belongs to sentient-pile-of-shredded-Monopoly-money-lining-an-albino-hamster’s-cage Jared Kushner, who has somehow managed to stay dead in the center of every Trump-related scandal despite the fact that no one knows what he does or did before whatever he’s doing now, or even what he…
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What’s on Your ‘I’m Driving While Black and This Cop Just Pulled Me Over’ Playlists?
We’ve all been there before. And by “we” I mean, “if you’re black and you’ve ever been behind the wheel of a car.” You’re driving along, minding your black-ass business, and blasting Rick Ross or some other unapologetically ignant music at obnoxious levels, and you glance into your rearview and notice a cop behind you…
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Now That I’ve Gotten My DNA Results, I Don’t Know Who to Root for in the World Cup, but Cameroon Makes the Best Jollof Rice
2017 and 2018 have been years of exploration and discovery for me so far. I’ve taken time to examine a lot about my identity as a black biracial dude and started to look into family dynamics and how they relate to that identity politic. To up that ante, I’ve also begun digging into my ancestry…
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VSB and The Glow Up Are Getting Urban by Nature in Los Angeles on March 29! Come Through!
Hey, young world (who lives in the greater Los Angeles area or has lots of money and time to fly out to L.A.)! Do you enjoy the great outdoors? Do you hike, bike or like to go outside? Do you like free events? If the answer to any of those questions is yes and you’re…
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Negative Parenting Milestones They Don’t Tell You About in Baby Books
I don’t remember the first time I bumped the back of my daughter’s head on the top of the passenger-side rear door when attempting to put her in the car seat, but I remember the last time I did it—Saturday afternoon. We were on our way to Whole Foods (whose hot bar is a surprisingly…
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I’ve Been Sober for 6 Years and I Miss Getting Drunk, but I Don’t Miss Being a Drunk
I miss alcohol. I’ll just tell you straight up: I miss it. No bullshit. When I go to my Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, everyone there is full of stories and cautionary tales about that sweet liquid deliverance called booze. But I remember clearly that my marriage to alcohol wasn’t all bad. We had some good times.…
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I Got My AncestryDNA Results Back, and I’m About 40 Percent African. I’m Going to Wakanda!
I got my results back from AncestryDNA. About damn time, too. I was like a crackhead, checking my email every single day HOPING I’d get an email letting me know that my results were ready and available, and every day there’d be nothing. At some point, I almost called them like they were holding up…
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Common Has Secured the Bag and Now He Just Makes Dad Rap
Common is killing the game; or, in today’s parlance, Common has secured the bag. I’m almost 40 years old, which means that I grew up in the ’80s and ’90s listening to Common (née Lonnie Rashid Lynn Jr.) when he was rapping about watermelons and communism and asking to borrow a dollar. I still own…
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The Fish-Porn Flick That Beat Get Out and Won the Oscar for Best Picture, Explained
Not technically a fish. According to the Wikipedia page about this film, it’s a “captured humanoid-amphibian creature.” No. Not Aquaman at all. Just a fish … man. Yes. Someone fucks a fish. The Shape of Water. Other names considered include The Fish That Saved My Pussy, Aquamandingo and Moby Dick … but Like, Literally. Yes.…