Very Smart Brothas
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The NBA Finals Are Just a Contest to See Who Wins the Chance to Refuse Trump’s White House Invitation
Perhaps if the Boston Celtics had beaten the Cleveland Cavs or if the Houston Rockets hadn’t morphed into rancid Twizzlers in the second half Monday night, we’d have a more competitive NBA Finals ahead of us. I don’t believe the Celtics could have beaten the Golden State Warriors, but they have enough long, bouncy and…
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10 Thoughts About Drake, His Petty and His ‘Duppy Freestyle’ Directed at Pusha T
1. Drake might be THE most bored superrich entertainer of all time. Like, he must literally sit around WAITING for motivation to do something … anything. Only a bored rich person gets that amped up, that quickly, in that fashion. Drake was probably playing himself in chess when he heard “Infrared” and was like, “About…
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The NFL Is an Internet Troll
I did not realize it was Memorial Day weekend until two hours ago, when the server at the restaurant where I ate breakfast asked if I had any holiday plans. “Oh yeah,” I thought to myself, while finishing the last strip of bacon and bite of egg (fried over hard) on my plate. “I guess…
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Drank Options to Bring to a Memorial Day Cookout for the Person Who Never Knows What to Bring
One truism in life: Never trust a person who has no idea what liquor to bring to a cookout. There are exceptions to this rule, of course. If you are not a drinker, then you are excused. Just bring several bags of ice; there is always a need for ice. If you are a person…
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25 Things I Might Do Tomorrow Other Than Listen to Pusha T’s Kanye West-Produced Album, Daytona
That summer of Kanye is supposed to officially start May 25, which is tomorrow, Friday. Pusha T, aka King Push, formerly of the Clipse and currently GOOD Music’s version of Dylan X5, is slated to drop his seven-track album produced entirely by Kanye West, Daytona, Friday (or maybe at midnight Thursday). And I won’t be…
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I’m Tired of Enduring the Abuse and Pain That Makes Me a ‘Strong Black Woman’
A month ago at work, a white man physically threatened me. He wanted to know my name so he could report me, so he came close to me and followed me into my work building and repeated his request. His goal was to intimidate, because maybe I intimidated him. It started because I couldn’t hear…
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10 Reasons Why Cherrelle and Alexander O’Neal’s ‘Saturday Love’ Is One of the Best Songs Ever
1. It’s a mnemonic device. If you think I WON’T be using this song to teach my kids how to remember the days of the week, then you’re smoking that Friday. In fact, I may (or may not) be already playing this song over and over again when my kids are in the car as…
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Looks Like I’ll Be Sitting Out the NFL Again Next Season (and the Season After That, Etc.)
It was much easier to boycott the NFL last season than I anticipated. For one, I underestimated how much I’d enjoy having my Sundays back. Also, my NFL fandom belongs to a team with a racist name that also happens to suck more often than not, so boycotting because the NFL blackballed Colin Kaepernick was…
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A List of Things Much Better (and Safer!) Than Water to Throw at Stupid, Silly, Dangerous Racists
Someone threw some water at sentient box of racist baking soda Tomi Lahren, and the question of whether it was a justifiable act is now apparently such a thing that our loose-bootied-ass president even saw fit to weigh in. Personally, I believe it was an inappropriate act. Although Toenail Laryngitis is a hateful and ghoulish…